When Do You Stop Feeling Young?

Several readers have asked the question, "When do most people stop feeling young?"  We originally thought that the age when people started feeling old is different for everybody.  Some people's hair starts to go gray in their 20s. That certainly isn't old! We've heard of knee's being replaced when people are in their 40s and 50s. Again, not very old.  Health varies for everyone, so clearly a health crisis can come at anytime and in a variety of forms leading people to the conclusion that they must be getting old.  Come to find out there are studies that target when most people start to feel old. Now guess. What age do you think is the average for when people stop feeling young?  50s? 60's? 70's? How about the 80's?  You'll be shocked to learn the age is 42.  Can you believe it? 

A recent study done by the Worldwide Independent Network of Market Research found that the early 40s were the critical time for people feeling that they had passed from young to older. Gray hair, aching joints, having reduced stamina...yes those weights in the gym do get heavier... and a health crisis all contribute to feeling older. So does comments from younger work colleagues.  We've had people in their 30s tell us that they are too old for certain jobs because the 20-29 year olds have a significant advantage. Granted that is in the world of technology.  Covid hasn't helped.  The past three years people have had to cope with isolation and loneliness brought on by the pandemic.  Also, we've had more time to think about our age.

There is an antidote for some of those feelings. It's called rewiring and it's the best tonic for replacing the sense of boredom and aging that often accompany retirement.  At lot depends on how you see the future. Is it a sunrise or a sunset? You would be amazed to see some retirees throw off aging and start a more robust and fulfilling life after work has ended.  For some it means embracing new work. For others it can mean pursuing a passion or a hobby now that there is more free time to be had.  Some of our readers report that travel and going back to school in the pursuit of learning can cast aging to the side. It takes planning and some pretty thorough self-analysis to determine what activities will keep you feeling young.  There's no time like the present to start the journey.  You will be glad you did and feel younger for having done it.

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The Health Benefits of Visiting a Museum

As avid museum goers ourselves, we know the joy of viewing art and sculpture around the world. We've been called "museum nerds"  because every trip we take includes visiting a museum or two!  Several of our readers have told us that one of the new enjoyments they have in retirement is museum or gallery visits. One reader said "it was amazing to get lost for a few hours in a museum. I could never do that when I was working. I just wouldn't allow myself the time." Several claimed a museum visit not only delighted their eyes with great art but said it helped them to gather their thoughts and even gain a more positive attitude. We decided to investigate this idea further to get a better understanding if there are any real health or well-being benefits associated with going to museums.  Come to find out, there are many benefits beyond art for art’s sake. Recent studies have validated the efficacy of a stroll through a museum. 

The University of Pennsylvania has completed studies on the subject with amazing results. According to researcher, Katherine Cotter, “Art museums have great potential to positively impact people, including reducing their stress, enhancing positive emotional experiences, and helping people to feel less lonely and more connected.”  If you are having a bad day or feeling lonely what a great tonic it can be to stroll around with others getting good vibes from what you’re seeing.  Who knows, you might even make new friends along the way.

Studies in the United Kingdom have validated the importance to our well-being of having art in our lives. "It can help to boost confidence and make us feel more engaged and resilient. Besides these benefits, art engagement also alleviates anxiety, depression, and stress."

 

It doesn’t have to be planned. You can be in a neighborhood where is a museum is located and just decide to pop in for a dose of art therapy.  It doesn’t have to be a long visit. From what we’ve learned even a short time spent in front of paintings and sculptures can do the trick.  It doesn’t have to be a museum only. It can be an art gallery, a botanical garden, or even a stroll through a park where there are opportunities to see sculptures, monuments, or ecological ponds.  The important thing is to take the time out of your schedule to do it. Everyone can use a little more beauty in their life.

Museums are also a great place to think about the future.  Many rewirement plans have been jump-started sitting in a museum. Whether it's walking through a gallery, sitting in front of a piece of art, or having a coffee in the museum cafe, inspiration about your future is all around.

Doing and Being

There is always more to learn about the concept of retirement whether you're a pre, post or serial retiree. Many retirees are facing the dilemma of going from being productive, goal driven, and accomplishment oriented to a retirement or next act that could look more like a permanent vacation.  A recent article in the Wall Street Journal highlighted a newly retired couples’ journey going from a life of "doing" to "being" with the hope of getting to somewhere in between. Through the years our readers have told us that they have had and are still having difficulties adjusting to their next act. Whether we agree or not that we are programed to work and be productive, there is the long held view that leisure is what you do on vacation and weekends. It's not surprising that people get to retirement both excited and nervous. 

What many people do at this life stage is to "rewire." They take the energy traditionally given to paid work and put it into new or current interests, that will lead to fulfillment and happiness.  When you rewire you may still be shouldering family obligations, going about the daily chores of life, helping others, etc., but your rewiring should include a lot more that you can look forward especially things that give you your buzz.  

As you plan to retire, there is one lesson you should never forget. That lesson is that those who are happiest in retirement are those whose time is spent in the pursuit of a goal. Yes, having goals is still important.  If you ask a retiree what their goals are, those who smile and respond quickly are spending time achieving their goals.  They are the happy ones.  Those that frown and say they have no goals or goals are a thing of the past are probably wishing they had some. After-all everyone wants joy and fulfillment in their life.  Goals can lead to fun, fulfillment and happiness. It is about creating a new formula for yourself that is a combination of being quiet and reflective then going to doing. 

A healthy, meaningful retirement is a combination of many things, but let's just focus on work and play.  The work can be for yourself such as going back to school, or volunteering for a not for profit, or if you want to continue to work for pay in a job with less demands.  The play may be a continuation of what you did on weekends. It can also be learning new sports, perfecting a current sport, pursing a hobby or interest, sharing time with grandchildren, or attending sporting events, concerts, museum exhibitions, or travel that you never had time for before you retired.

 

 

As many of our readers’ know I went to Michigan State University. While at MSU I joined the Tri Delta Sorority.  It was a defining moment in my development. I bonded with other women. We grew together. After graduation, I continued to be involved to help other Tri Delts and to network with those who had moved to NYC where I moved after graduation.  Tri Delta has been with me all along the way. Recently I was asked to be a guest on the Let’s Talk Tri Delta podcast about Don’t Retire, REWIRE! Insights on the future for people of all ages.  

There is a lesson here for all of us. Sometimes we must look all the way back in our lives to find something that will give us fulfillment at this new life stage.  What activities, organizations or institutions were you involved with during the first twenty five years of your life? What did you love doing that you stopped doing because you joined the workforce, started a family, whatever the reason?  Looking back at those interests, or just taking the time to remember those interests, could lead to fun and fulfillment in your future! Then once you align those newly defined or rediscovered interests with your Drivers (as detailed in the pages of Don’t Retire, REWIRE!) then you’re really onto something! We’ve discovered that many of us need to look back at the good things loved and lost, to go forward!

 

John, one of our readers recently told us, “I loved history. I graduated college, took a job, got married, took on a mortgage, and somehow the things I thought I’d pursue got replaced. Don’t get me wrong, my life was great but I never had time for other things. Life just got in the way. When I retired, I didn’t know what to do with myself.  I started to look back at the things I had enjoyed.  History came back on the screen.  Now I am getting a master’s degree in American history. I am thoroughly enjoying myself. One day I want to teach an adult education course.”  My wife has been supportive, and I think enjoys it because I’m not in her space, and she sees I’m happy.” John’s Drivers included continuous learning and making a difference.

 

Another reader said that his grandfather had ignited in him an interest in the Civil War.  Now he is returning to it, not only reading about it, but watching films and documentaries, and taking trips to the historic sites of that period.  He joined the Civil War Roundtable and is considering starting a Civil War book club in his retirement community. His Drivers included continuous learning, but to also be a leader of sorts.

 

It’s a wonderful feeling when you discover that an old interest is new, again.

 

 

 

 

Develop an Interest… NOW

The more we interview retirees the more we appreciate the importance of having an interest. The happiest and most fulfilled individuals we meet usually have an interest or a hobby that engages them. It makes them enthusiastic and genuinely happy about their lives. Some people have had the interest since childhood, others discovered it later in life after searching for something, and the lucky few just happened to fall upon it by accident after they retired.  It really doesn’t matter how they got there. The important thing is they found something they love doing.

Science fully supports what we have heard in our interviews: “Interest is a powerful psychological state. It makes us feel energetic and excited, fully engaged and focused. Our brains 'work better'. Research has shown that we pay more attention, we process information better and will remember it.”  That statement alone sums up why it’s so important to a happy retirement.

 

It is harder to find the time to find an interest when you are working. But it is a good time to start so that you are fully engaged when you retire.  Working from home during Covid freed up time for some to discover that all important interest. As one retiree said, “I had all this commuting time restored to me. I took that time and started thinking about some of the things I did as a kid. I read books and articles and did some exploring on the internet.  I discovered an interest that drew me in. It made time fly.  I know it will go with me when I retire. It’s exciting.”

 

Retirement can be more than managing money, spending time with grandchildren, exercising, or traveling or being part of the sandwich generation. Those are all important things.  A hobby on the other hand can unlock loads of interest and give you a buzz that gets you up in the morning looking forward to the day.  If you relocate, you can take your interest with you which helps you acclimate easier to a new environment. When new acquaintances ask what keeps you busy, you’ll have lots to talk about.  You won’t be bored, and you won’t be boring. 

The 60 Year Career

A forty year career looks daunting when you first start out. Now try a sixty year career. A recent Wall Street Journal article by one of our favorite journalists, Carol Hymowitz, lays out the rationale for a longer work life. Circling in and out of jobs and careers will become the norm says Carol. We agree. Longevity is the reason.  We are living healthier, longer lives that will permit us to try new careers, sample jobs, and go back to school not once but several times over the course of a sixty year career. You will get to REWIRE early and often as your life unfolds.

The key is to extend a forty year career over a sixty year period. You work the same amount of time spread over an additional twenty years.  In a traditional forty year career, we try to compress too much work in our lives. Families suffer, relationships suffer, and the person working suffers. It's a kind of lose lose for all concerned.  The sixty year career permits us more time with loved ones, being present for important life events.  Important is defined by the individuals involved. It could be a sports or cultural event where your child or grandchild is playing, going on an extended vacation with those you care about, or freeing up time to care for older parents or grandchildren. It also gives you more time for self care.  

The article suspends the traditional straight line career ladder. In its place will be a maze or "jungle gym." The directions will be changing and so will you. In order to prepare we all need to become more adaptable. That includes the worker and the employer. Easier said than done, we know. The aging population and the need to get the job done will force employers to be more embracing of older workers. Older workers will need to reciprocate by keeping up on their skills and learning no ones.  Working in teams with younger workers will be mandatory.  Adjusting to each other will take time, but that is the future.

What will really become essential is knowing your DRIVERS, the emotional rewards you get from work beyond the money. Aligning your DRIVERS to the jobs you select during the sixty year career will make the time go faster and the work a lot more fulfilling.  It should be an adventure not a sentence!

Resolutions Aren't Just for New Year's Eve

News flash: You don't have to wait until the start of a new year to make resolutions that will improve your life, reset your behaviors, or start yourself on the path to new experiences.  Resolutions on New Year's Eve often end in the trash bin along with the party hats and champagne bottles from the night before.  Before you make any resolution regardless of the time of year there is a step you will be well served to take....it's called " looking inside yourself."

We asked several of our readers who are REWIRING Champions how they approached making resolutions.  Almost unanimously they said: We took the time to look inside ourselves and to understand what really is important to us now. We wholeheartedly agree. Self introspection and hence self awareness are often the best guides for making important resolutions or decisions of any type.  Asking yourself what is important to you, what achievements do you aspire to (big or small, at work or at play), what can you do to improve yourself or the world around you can be life altering.  It's true, the longest journey starts with the first step and procrastination is real but it is our loves we're talking about. Starting off with achievable goals builds confidence once they are achieved. Then you feel more comfortable to continue to the harder goals.  Think of resolutions as a ladder.  The first few rungs are easy. The higher you go the task becomes more difficult and the tighter the grasp required to hold on and reach the top. Slowly and steadily resolutions can become realities, just like reaching the top of the ladder.

Among the resolutions most often mentioned by readers who have contacted us are finding a not for profit and committing time for volunteering; going back to school to take a course (online or in person); traveling to a place never visited before; helping out a family member who may be stretched for time or who is aging and needs support; and enjoying an activity in greater depth such as music, art, woodworking, hiking, golf, etc. The resolutions are your own so let the kite out and make some regardless of the time of year. You can begin to REWIRE anytime. Resolve to do so. How about NOW?