Who's Your Role Model?

Today the Wall Street Journal had a wonderful article about the life of Frances Hesselbein. Frances recently passed away at the age of 107.  She was one of the country's great nonprofit leaders and a role model for all who aspire to success as leaders and managers. She was the CEO of the Girl Scouts of the USA where she brought the organization into the 20th century with new programs and initiatives that would aid girls in becoming successful business leaders not just homemakers.  Management guru Peter Drucker was her role model.  She invited Drucker to consult at the Girl Scouts which he did.  Frances eventually left the Girl Scouts and became the founding head of the Peter F. Drucker Foundation for Nonprofit Management.  Her good work resulted in the group changing its name to the Frances Hesselbein Leadership Forum.

We had the privilege of meeting Frances on several occasions. Her enthusiasm was infectious as was her thoughtfulness and kindness.  She took pride in helping younger people with their careers. Her business prowess helped hundreds of nonprofits become financially stable.  Her impact was the incalculable success helping those organizations achieve their missions of helping others.  What a legacy! What a role model!

Having a role model is important at any age.  It really comes in handy when you approach or are already in retirement.  Ask yourself, who are the people you aspire to be like? Whose retirement activities represent what you would like to be doing? Perhaps it is someone who has ventured into a new retirement career, taken a part time job, taken on a volunteer role, or are completely devoted to the exploration of an interest or a hobby. Having a retirement role model is a great way to start you on a journey to a healthier, more active retirement.  Staying active and committed to something in later years ends up extending those years and making them much more satisfying and fulfilling.  In so doing you may become someone else's role model.

We may not have the long life opportunity that Frances enjoyed, but we can learn from her commitment to continuing to make a difference in the lives of others and in so doing made a difference in her own life.  Her famous quote was, "The purpose of life to is love and be loved. In that order."  Loving what you do is a step on that journey especially in later life. Now ask yourself, "Who's my role model?"

Find a Hobby at Hobby Lobby

Rick and I recently went to Hobby Lobby. It was my first time and Rick's second.  We strolled the aisles looking at all the resources for people with a hobby.  We laughed that if you didn't have a hobby when you walked in, you probably would when you left.  Unfortunately, many retirees don't have hobbies or interests.  We receive emails frequently from readers who lament the absence of a hobby or an interest in their life.  They report that time drags. They are envious of their friends who can spend hours on end with their hobbies.  The envy isn't misplaced.  There are tremendous benefits to having a hobby: physical and mental.  

A recent article in the Wall Street Journal authored by Beth DeCarbo entitled
Why Hobbies Are So Important in Retirement highlights the benefits of having a hobby including improving the risks of cardiovascular disease, creating a new sense of identity, improved cognitive performance, creating a buffer against depression, and enhancing the feelings of productivity which leads to joy. Beth has interviewed numerous people who are examples of improving their lives through hobby.

It doesn't matter if you collect stamps, coins, old cars, matchbook covers or rare books. Travel, sport, cooking, etc. all fit the bill. They don't have to be expensive to be fun and fulfilling.  What's important is the intention to be engaged in something that interests you and expands your thinking at this life stage. If you are having trouble finding a hobby, stroll Hobby Lobby or any other hobby emporium. Talk to others about their hobbies. There is plenty of information on the internet to get you thinking.  As one reader said, "A new hobby made my life so much more enjoyable.  I jump out of bed and look forward to the day."  That's what we refer to as a REWIRED future!

Using Your Brain

Using the brain never stops. We have blogged about this frequently because it is so important.  Incredulously, we still receive comments from readers indicating that retirement signals the end of learning.  We were stunned to hear that intelligent people were viewing learning as having an end date. They were saying when I retire I can put my brain on permanent pause.  In fact, continuous learning is one of life’s great joys. What most people aren’t aware of is the extreme positive impact that learning new things, getting new things(yes getting new things), seeing new sights, and experiencing new activities have on the brain.  It can slow memory loss, the onset of dementia, and keep individuals functioning a high level well into later life and old age.  A recent article in Buffer.com that focuses on this topic should be mandatory reading for everyone not just retirees.  If you want to be a REWIREE, not just a retiree, read the article.

Learning, whether in a formal setting, taking an online course, or simply Googling something you didn’t know before stimulates part of the brain called the substantia nigra/ventral segmental area or SN/VTA.  It triggers the motivation center of the brain.  We learn and we get motivated.  We frequently meet retirees who are taking courses or embarking on travel learning.  They seem to be happy, engaged in life, have a broader social network, and a motivation to learn more.  Longevity is not a curse for them. It is a gift of time that permits these individuals to keep on learning and having more energy that stimulates and motivates them.  It is a fabulous cycle of learn, be motivated, learn more new things, be happy, etc.  

 

Learning doesn’t have to be just academics.  You might want to learn a new sport, a new hobby, how to cook a different type of cuisine, how to sail, engage in a new fitness program, or learn how to finally master some of the programs installed on your computer.  You can acquire new things. For example, a boat or a car you can work on or show off.  How about buying furniture you need to assemble yourself?  You pick it. 

 

Keep learning, experiencing, and REWIRING.  Remember you can REWIRE as often as you want. You and those who love you will be glad you did. 

Try Something New

We recently surveyed a group of retired individuals.  We asked them how they would characterize their of levels of enjoyment in retirement.  Many reported very positive feelings about this life phase.  Some used the phrase, "I go to bed at night looking forward to waking up and doing something I enjoy."

The common thread for all these positive people was that they added something entirely new to their lives. They began investigating activities, sports, and hobbies they had never participated in before.  Their inquisitiveness was eventually rewarded. Most reported that it didn't happen overnight. Most tried something and decided it wasn't for them. They didn't stop there. They continued their exploration   If there was a common theme it was that they were all willing to try, fail, and dare to discard, so they could move on to something else. Their secret sauce was persistence.   

Identifying the activity was just the start.  The real catalyst was that they were willing to devote time to learning something new.  They acknowledged to themselves they were beginners. They were unashamed to ask questions, try and fail, and try again. You could call it Retirement Bravery.  

The range of the groups new activities was extremely broad and included painting, writing, collecting, learning to play pickle ball, croquet, and golf or embracing a musical instrument. All we can say is that guitar sales must really be up! 

Futurist Malcom Gladwell says that in order to become really good at something you have to put ten thousand hours of practice into it. At this stage, you may not have the ten thousand hours to put into whatever you choose to do. But the time you do devote to a the activity will garner a payoff in personal fulfillment. 

The group also cautioned that in order to find the time to pursue the new interest, you may have to say no to other things. You may have to limit the other activities you already have in your life including spending as much time with family and friends.

Time passes quickly. Wouldn't you like to do something that gives you joy?

Laboring On

Labor Day is here. It is the 128^th anniversary of the Federal holiday first celebrated in 1894.  Where did the summer go?  It seems we ask ourselves that question every year.  Labor Day is an important annual marker signaling the end of summer, the start of the school year for many, and the advent of autumn. Halloween, Thanksgiving and Christmas are just around the corner. 

There has been quite a lot of activity around work since Covid struck in 2020. New movements along the way include the Great Resignation when people began reassessing their employment choices and commitments and decided to take a break from work. Some have made their choices permanent. Others have re-entered the workforce in higher paying jobs, new careers or gone back to school for additional credentials. 

 

Quiet Quitting is also very new trend.  This occurs when people who are employed decide to do the minimum required to maintain a paycheck.  For them long work hours, employer access to them 24/7, and going the extra mile are a thing of the past.  Their co-workers are none too happy with them because the work still needs get done. Personal relations at work get strained to put it mildly. With such low unemployment numbers, employers are reluctant to fire people when it is so hard to replace them. 

 

Working remotely is here to stay.  It doesn’t have to be working from home. It could be from a Starbuck’s, on a couch at the local shopping mall (we have witnessed this), from a beach house, or even another country.  Eliminating a commute is a tasty benefit.  Technology has given workers leverage they never had before. Some employers are demanding workers return to the office. Let’s see how that works out. With over 8 million jobs waiting to be filled, workers have choices and can often call the shots. 

 

The other trend is Un-retirement, where retirees of all ages are leaving leisure behind and returning to the workforce. Inflation has a way of galvanizing people to want to work.  So does boredom. After all, with longevity you can be retired longer than you were in the workforce.  Scary thought.  The greatest number of people over the age of 65 are now in the workforce and more are joining daily.

 

For all workers who are thinking about retirement or are already in it, remember: You Retire From something and you REWIRE to something which just might include a new job.  If you decide to go back to work part-time, full-time, start a new career, or volunteer you will have plenty of company. HAPPY LABOR DAY. 

Bored in Retirement?

There is nothing easy about the future…especially retirement which has been portrayed as the antidote for work.  We have been getting quite a few calls and emails lately from individuals regarding the challenges they are having in retirement.  We did research to identify the main causes of their dissatisfaction.  Almost sixty-five percent of the retirees we spoke with admitted that they were either very or somewhat bored. We also interviewed pre-retirees to see what concerns, if any, they were having about entering retirement. They often cited their fear of being bored or even worse becoming boring.

There is no easy formula for living a fulfilled future, but proven ingredients that help are having interests and hobbies in your pre-retirement life.  Those activities almost guarantee a smoother entry into retirement and continued enjoyment into the future. Remember, you have been programmed to work. You may still have days that unsettle you. If you can't put your finger on it, perhaps it is just work withdrawl. 

 

If you don’t have an interest or hobby to pursue, start looking for one or two or three. Try them out. If you don’t get traction with one, discard it and try another. If you are having trouble, ask yourself what you were interested in as a teen? You would be surprised how many retirees have embraced hobbies they had as a kid but abandoned for some reason.  Maybe it’s time to take them up again.

 

It is up to you to make life interesting. As one retiree put it, “Nothing happens if you don’t make it happen.” 

 

 

 

What Makes You Smile?

The impact of 2020 was isolation. 2021 was about disbelief and anxiety. 2022 has been a mix of frustration, readjustment, acceptance and the arrival of a new normal accompanied by financial stress. It's a good time to step back and do some reassessment.

Many of us are asking ourselves, "What can I do for myself to make my life better? Do I want to make my life bigger or smaller?"  Bigger isn't always better. Is doing more really better?  Some of our readers and friends have pulled back and are doing less. They have become more focused on self and understanding what really turns them on.

We're hearing people say they no longer suffer from FOMO, the fear of missing out. They often see their friends chasing after “stuff, and the "stuff" never seems to be make them any happier.  The enlightened have decided to only chase after things that they know will deliver on the promise of happiness. 

Do you know what turns you on? You might be surprised once you take the time to look inside yourself. Readers have told us that a great way to identify what makes them happy is by looking at the photos on their phones.  Most of us rarely go back and look at them.  It is a lost opportunity. When you look at a photo and it makes you smile, try to capture what it is about the memory that creates the positive feeling you get when you view it. It can be an important clue to understanding what you can do now or in the future that will provoke happiness.

Several of our friends who are heavy into the performance arts, have stopped going to as many performances, and have stopped buying a lot of tickets. They might go to an outstanding performance they have waited for, but they will no longer go to just anything. Someone said, “My husband and I have a sexier time together live streaming than being at the theater!” Watching streaming shows with friends has also taken off. It is about the shared experience, not just the experience itself.

Relationships today are more important than anything. Nurturing them is time well spent on the road to happiness.

The Unretirement Trend

Our readers have reported that they and many of their friends have decided to exit retirement and go back to work. The reasons they give are varied. Some found out that the money they thought they had to live on wasn't enough to maintain their lifestyle. Others have been feeling the effects of inflation which is approaching double digits. The concern that it will get worse has propelled them to dust of their resumes and start looking. Some are going back to the familiar work they always did and others want a new challenge. They want to try working at something they never did before.  The job market needs workers so opportunities are plentiful for both.

Adult children moving back home with their parents has also created the need for additional income. In some cases they come with grandchildren.  As one retiree put it, "I planned diligently for our retirement. Everything was in place. We had enough to last us for a very long time.  I never planned on my daughter getting divorced and moving back home. Now she lives with us and so do our two grandchildren.  I thought college tuition bills were behind me. I need to go back to work so I can educate those kids."

There is another group of retirees that focused so much of their time on work, they never made time to develop an interest or delve into a hobby.  While it's never too late to start, many people are impatient. They would rather go back to work than spend the time test marketing a new hobby.  

Whatever the reason unretirement is a new and growing trend. So if you are thinking about it, you are definitely not alone.

The Importance of Saying NO

Recently Elizabeth Bernstein wrote an article featured in the Wall Street Journal on the importance of being able to say NO to the demands and pleas of others.  The article Elizabeth wrote should be mandatory reading for everyone. Her premise is that people often say yes to things when it is to their detriment. Haven't we all from time to time said yes to some request that we regret?  

We often are asked by our readers how they can gracefully decline a request.  Many are already retired so the request is often made on the basis of "you're retired, you have the time."  That may be true, but our time is our own.  It is a valuable asset that once lost cannot be regained. Prioritizing how we spend our time is the only way to make sure we are using time to our own benefit and to causes we really believe in.

Sometimes the priority is to give time away to a person or organization we believe in and want to help. That is using time wisely and falls into the "time well spent" category.  But saying "yes" to something because we are afraid to turn the person or organization down is a self-inflicted injury.  Fear that they won't like us anymore or be angry because we rejected their request is not a good reason to say YES.    

Learning to say NO is as important as saying YES. Her article contains a great line that in effect says that "NO is a complete sentence."  Remember that the next time you are asked for something that you really don't want to or can't do. 

The Gift of Time

Longevity is a reality today. Current retirees as a whole have so much more time ahead of them than our parents and grandparents did in their retirements. Not only do we have more time, the time we have for many of us is accompanied by better health. Physically we will be able to participate in many activities at later ages that 50 years ago would have been unthinkable.

Now that we're coming out of Covid many of us are looking forward to making up for lost time.  Our lives were put on an unexpected hold.  However, we continued to age.  Covid postponements have affected almost everyone.  Before we rush out to pursue those postponements, it's a good time to re-evaluate how we want to spend our time.  We want to use that gift wisely.

The American Time Use Survey conducted right before Covid struck showed that retirees have over seven hours of leisure time each day. How they use that time is concerning. The Study revealed that much of the gain has become devoted to lingering over daily activities and watching television.  Watching television especially the news only provokes anxiety and with a 24 hour news cycle that's a lot of potential for anxiety and wasted time.

A large portion of our readers have told us that they have used their time well during the last two years.  Many spent time taking up a new hobby or expanding on an existing one. Others committed to continuously learning new subjects. Some used their time incorporating some form of exercise into their daily schedule. Volunteering was also cited as a good time investment. Helping others is time that benefits the helper, too. Most of us want to get the best return for the time we invest regardless of the activity. A good way to maximize the use of time is to ask yourself in advance, what fulfillment will I get from the time I am about to spend. However you decide to spend your time, make it count.

 

Regrets. No One Wants them.

There have been several articles published recently from healthcare professionals regarding end of life regrets. They interviewed individuals in hospice care and asked them what regrets they had?  It's a heavy question asked of people at this life stage. What would they have done differently? While many of their responses are predictable, the responses are poignant in that many people say the same thing and that bears repeating.

Among the first thing they mention is that they wish they hadn't focused so much on work. No one ever says they wish they had worked harder or longer. They said that they wish they had spent more time with family and friends.  Valued time with loved ones is clearly more important than anything else, especially work. Importantly spending time with people who love you is on the list. Ask yourself, who would be on your list?

They said they wish they had taken better care of themselves. Self-care is often ignored. Smoking less, drinking less, not doing illegal drugs, exercising, and focusing on eating properly are definite life extenders. Moderation in life can be a good thing. 

They also said they wish they had appreciated the little things in life. Smelling the roses, enjoying a sunrise or a sunset, watching the leaves change, going to a child's dance recital would have been time well spent rather than watching the news or surfing social media. 

They added make sure you live in the moment. The goal is to cut down worrying about things that perhaps may never happen or won't be as bad as you project. Stop worrying about next week or next month. Time isn't guaranteed. Make the best of the time you have.

The list is short, but profound. In a 24/7 world, it's hard to keep focused on what's important. But if you don't, you may have regrets like these and no one wants that!

If You Love What You Do, Keep Doing it!

It used to be that people retired when they hit a certain age, were downsized out of a job and were forced into early retirement, or simply got disgusted by all the change in the workplace and decided to pull the plug.  We often forget there is a large contingent of individuals who want to keep working. They don't necessarily need the money that work provides. What they want is the forum to do what they love to do. 

Many individuals want to continue to use their skills or learn new ones. Others love the social aspects of working. That's the water cooler crowd. They love going into work and seeing friends or colleagues. As many retirees have told us: "I miss doing something on the weekends and having no place to go to tell anybody on Monday morning." "I love the banter of the cubicle." "I love hearing what others are doing and enjoying sharing ideas." "If I retired, I would miss my gang too much."

When people ask us, "Should I retire?" We always respond, "Do you like what you do?" If the response is yes, then we encourage people to stay working. If you are physically and emotionally able to continue working at a job you love, then keep at it. We've found that people who have retired from a job they love and could have continued doing regret their decision.  It's not about age. It's about attitude. For those who retired and miss their work, it's not too late. The Great Resignation has left many jobs open that could be filled by retirees.  So if you fit in this category, start looking. With longevity, cycling in and out of work is the future. You might end up doing something entirely different and finding new joy in a job you've never done before.

What Makes Retirees Happy?

When we speak with individuals who are looking forward to retiring, we are often asked, "What makes for a happy retirement?" Our conversations typically focus on the important things an individual can do to maximize the enjoyment and fulfillment in the time ahead.  People entering retirement hear frequently from those already in retirement, "I've never been so busy. I don't know how I ever worked!"  We ask people to listen clearly, "It isn't about being busy. Anyone can be busy. There is a secret to a happy retirement." That usually gets their attention.

A happy retirement is about doing things that provide fulfilling experiences; things that stimulate curiosity and encourage an individual to go deeper into something they enjoy. Exploring and learning more about the subject of interest can be exceptionally rewarding. Anybody can be busy in retirement. Happy retirees are fulfilled individuals.

Often people focus only on the leisure activities they never had time for during their working years. But retirement is not a vacation. After a few months of experiencing what they have missed, many of our readers ask us, "What's next? I'm getting bored." That's where self-knowledge comes in. Get to know yourself better before you retire. It will open your eyes to possibilities. Importantly, it will eliminate a lot of wasted time just being busy.

2022 What's Old is New

There is an old philosophy that exhorts us to count our blessings every day. By doing so we have a better chance of recognizing what's important to us. It also puts into perspective those things in our lives that matter the most and matter the least.  As we enter the third year of the Covid pandemic, we have had ample time to reflect and sort out the good things in our lives and recognize the "nice to have, but unnecessary," and the really meaningful which makes life sweeter. Rewiring is a lot like that. We suggest to our readers that taking stock of their lives and understanding what motivates them as individuals is the beginning of the journey to fulfillment.

The same thing is true of setting goals for ourselves. Examining the goal you select in the clear light of day often results in embracing it even more or deciding to discard it altogether.  Sometimes the goal is set because it seems that is what society values or what our friends and neighbors value.  The question to ask yourself is what do you value? If you succeed in achieving the goal will it make your life or anyone else's life better? We don't ask that question of ourselves enough, because the answer can make us different or set us apart from others.  

Appreciating what we have is a wonderful goal to put into our lives in 2022, and when you admit to it others might listen and just start doing the same. It gives you a chance to touch your own life as well as the lives of others. What could be more positive in an age when so much seems confusing and anxiety provoking. Once we start practicing counting our blessings, the list will get longer as well as more meaningful. There will be many surprises on the list, too. Here's to a healthy and Happy New Year!