Making It Special

An old friend recently remarked that, "If you don't make it special it won't be." We asked what the IT was that she was referring to?  She responded, "Usually it was just the day but now the IT is whatever you decide it to be."  We have started to share her thought with friends, family and clients and not surprisingly some said... "Why bother?"  We know 2020 has been an extremely difficult year. Living in the land of Covid has challenged us all. Doing something special for yourself is one way to hit the pause button and rethink what's important to you....really important....possibly even vital!

We challenged our friends and family to think differently and recently we have started to receive emails from some of them telling us what they're doing to make IT special. They ran the gamut from preparing a  good meal; to ordering in a very good meal; to buying a bottle of wine that is a notch better than the usual brand; to playing different music...instead of the usual playlist, they are switching to jazz, or classical or country and western.  One creative reader said he bought two poinsettias and put them in a prominent place in his home to make sure he realized it was the holidays. "Truth be told, I don't like poinsettias, but they are colorful and not very expensive. I think I made the right decision. I am changing my mind about them and proud that I got out of my comfort zone and did something that isn't me."

We were on a zoom call this week and many on the call were wearing reindeer antlers or elf hats. It made everyone smile. One of the people on the call said they had never done anything so foolish as putting on a Santa's elf  hat and was amazed at the response from others, "It was the most smiles I have seen on a call since Covid started. It was special and made me feel a sense of relief from all the madness I have been experiencing this year."

Rewirees have told us that part of their new regimen is doing new and special activities, reading different kinds of books, appreciating things of all sizes, "Not just the big things." Doing something special or at least different may benefit the doer, but may even have a very positive effect on others.  As we welcome in a hopeful 2021, try making or doing something special for yourself. You'll be glad you did.

The Circus as Inspiration

Howard Tibbals went to his first circus at age 3; by age 7 he was smitten with the circus and in 1948, at age 12, started building his own miniature circus. The result of his life long hobby has resided at the Ringling Museum in Sarasota, Florida since 2004. Howard  has created a complete circus with over 42,143 individual pieces. It is awesome. There are 152 circus wagons, 8 tents, 1500 performers,7000 miniature folding chairs and 500 carved animals.  Kids of every age love it. Our first thought upon seeing it was WOW and then we thought having a hobby or an interest from childhood is a gift. 

Howard Tibbals was lucky; he started working on his passion early in life. Others start later.  We have heard from numerous readers and clients that they retired and finally had the time to focus on the hobby or interest  that they've had since childhood. The current pandemic has made people put some dreams on hold. However a client of ours, who has always loved flowers, particularly roses, and once had aspirations of being an artist, has decided that during these challenging times that she would take sketching and painting classes on line. "Why not", she said, "I have the time and since I'm not traveling let me pursue something that I think might be my heart's delight! When we can travel again I'm off to visit beautiful English gardens! " We love her thinking!

Our belief is that it's never too late to explore ideas, whether they be old or new ideas, if they're important to you. Our advice is rewire some of your time, effort, energy and even money into them and see what you discover. 

We both have childhood interests, Tudor England and Civil War History, that manifest themselves more so in our lives today than ever before. You probably do, too.  While you can't go to events or travel to places you are interested in, you can still go online. Sign up for zoom presentations, listen to podcasts, etc.  If you find the subject interesting go deeper. Our Advice: you just need to get started.

Today's Reality: Stop then Start

Many pre and post retirees are talking about having their futures postponed by the Covid-19 epidemic and the uncertainty of the protests and violent riots occurring across the country.  This year has been an extremely difficult time to REWIRE when everything has become so unpredictable and erratic. The major impact of job loss, furloughs and financial stress has created a landscape that we have never witnessed before in our lifetime.  We have been forced to stop our normal routines. Now we are waiting for our lives to start up again.

Many Boomers who remember the strife filled years of the late 1960s are comparing them to today. They are similar in many ways. While there was no pandemic there was a flu epidemic that killed over 100,000 people; there was a space launch; and there was tremendous civil unrest do to the racial divide and the Viet Nam war.  Sounds and scenes of the past look familiar today. Yes we were younger then, but like now, filled with hopes and dreams.

Some of us were using our time of quarantine to reflect, to get organized or to just ponder possibilites. Some of us were actually getting serious about making some changes. Change can be daunting and anxiety provoking. and now the reality of our collective circumstances is forcing us to step back and perhaps deal with some of that change.  The plans many of us had in place may not be valid anymore or have become so altered and distant that they lack clarity and a slim chance of becoming a reality. It is one thing to decide to change our timetables for life; it's another to have forces beyond our control change it for us. It's a good time to remind ourselves that not being in control doesn't necessarily mean you are out of control.  Because our forward progress has been stopped doesn't mean it won't start again.

Rewiring has no expiration date, since it's based on your desires and needs. However some of the things you want to rewire might have time frames. You need to consider incorporating any revised schedules into your plans.

Making time to reflect is always valuable. Self discovery can be confirming or disruptive, and its up to you to rethink your priorities, timetables, even new activities that will fulfill you. Once we get back on track and through this terribly unexpected disruption you may discover that you have different needs than you did back in March.  The adage that tough times don't last, but tough people do is often the case.  Winston Churchill's famous line of Keep Calm and Carry On! has become our motto.

Keep Learning: Take an Online Course

Covid-19 has kept most of us in our homes. Schools, colleges, and universities all over the country have switched to online learning.  Employees from many industries are working remotely from home. Many of those who are doing it for the first time report improved productivity, fewer office interruptions, and more sleep.  They don't have to get up so early to take the train, bus or drive to the office.  Sure there are downsides like frequent trips to the refrigerator and the need to be creative to keep kids occupied.

You don't have to be totally deprived of social interaction. You can still talk to your friends face to face using many of the apps that are available. 

We have decided to take some online courses.  They are easy to access and many of them are free.  If you are questioning your computer skills, take heart, it is not all that complicated. Click on and make sure the volume is up.  Then sit back and fulfill your curiosity.  Many interesting videos are available on YouTube and other streaming services. And don't forget there are free books online.  You may not get the latest titles, but you will fine something worth your while.

We hope you and your families stay save in this challenging time and avoid getting bored by exploring your interests. 

Relationships Worth Having

As we begin to REWIRE and create or live our next acts, we need to recognize that we only have so much time, effort and energy.  That's why it is so important to review and prioritize our friendships and relationships so we can make the most of our lives.

First, be aware of the number of relationships you do or don’t have, BEFORE you retire. Often relationships are work centric.  When work ends what will happen to those relationships? What are the relationships you have with fellow employees, vendors, clients, customers, and industry associates? Are they really friends? Are they acquaintances or just part of your business network? Will they continue after you are no longer in the workplace? Do you want them to? If so you need to do some work to convert or Rewire those people into deeper friendships.

There are the friends you’ve had for a lifetime. Sometimes they don’t sustain the test of time.  As you look at them objectively, are they individuals you care about, or have they become toxic, or boring, or no longer aligned with your future.  Do they or will they care about your ideas, goals, interests or dreams?  

Perhaps it isn't a new trend but we are hearing from readers that they are de-selecting friendships.  It’s happening. Time is valuable and they say that they want their time to be fulfilling with people they enjoy and who sustain them.
You don’t want to be hasty, rude or mean. Sometimes hard decisions need to be made.  Don't forget to look in the mirror.  Are you someone others value and want to continue to have a relationship with?  To have a friend, you must be a friend.

Using Art and Culture to Improve and Lengthen Your Life

We recently saw an article how Engaging with the Arts May Help You Live Longer.  It was centered on a research study from University College London. The study focused on people over the age of 50 who were involved in some cultural format. It could be painting, going to a museum, going to a concert, or watching dance, etc.  The study followed individuals for 14 years and found out that if you regularly included arts activities in you life, you were 31 percent less likely to die than individuals who had no art or culture in their lives.  Pretty impressive.

We live in New York City, where a museum, a concert hall, art gallery, and universities are easy to access.  That is one of the reasons we continue to live in the Big Apple.  It is a cultural smorgasbord.  We witness a tremendous number of people over the age of 50 enjoying what the city has to offer.  The experience is often enhanced by meeting friends at cultural events and continuing discussing what you experienced long after the event occurred.

If you live a distance from a cultural venue, today you can enjoy it virtually.  People all over the world watch performances in HD from the Metropolitan Opera.  YouTube has videos of all kinds of cultural experiences.  Invite friend over to watch with you. Make a night of it or day of it.

It is not just extending life that is important. It is making the time we have enjoyable, nourishing, and giving us wonderful things to contemplate in a world that is less than perfect.  So if you want quality time, not just quantity, go online and look up the cultural events in your area. Then start going!

A REWIRED Relocation

There are many ways to REWIRE your future.  One of them is packing up your belongings in boxes, loading the van and relocating.  Some people thirst to begin their next act in a new home or in a new area of the country with better weather or job opportunities.

Since we wrote Don't Retire, REWIRE! we have seen so many articles about the glories of retirement relocations.  They are endless.  We love the list of the top 20 places to retire outside the U.S.  Most center on the a lower cost of living with a slower paced lifestyle.  At the beach, in the mountains, in friendly cities with great views.  The lists include destinations so far off the beaten path that friends and relatives would have to travel for three days to get there.  Really convenient? Not.

The reality is that a very small percentage of retirees move.  Somewhere between 5% and 10% is probably accurate.  Retirees who do move or downsize do so very close to where they have lived up until they retired. The majority who move do so within a twenty mile radius of their current home.  Remaining close to family and friends is important.  The older we get the more we will rely on our social networks and our social networks will rely on us.  It goes both ways.

For those intent on going somewhere else, it is best to test market new locations.  Rent for a month and see how you like it.  Draw up a list of criteria and measure your potential new home against the list.  Is it close to an airport, good healthcare, museums, performing arts venues. places where you can expand your hobby or interests, is there a college or university nearby.

If you want to continue working, do some research on the job market in the targeted area.  Is unemployment low? The lower the unemployment rate the better the opportunity for older workers.

If you decide to move to be near your adult children, be realistic enough to imagine that they might get a job transfer or a better offer somewhere else.  Best to make sure you like the area with them or without them before you take the plunge.