Retirement Doesn't Have to be Perfect

For decades, retirement has been sold as a carefully engineered destination: the right savings number, the right home, the right health plan, the right hobbies, the right sense of purpose—all aligned at precisely the right moment. For many people in or approaching retirement, this pursuit of “getting it right” can become a source of anxiety rather than comfort. The truth is simpler and more liberating: retirement does not need to be perfect to be good. The important thing is that you learn to REWIRE! yourself periodically to adjustment to changing circumstances.

Life before retirement was never perfect either. Careers unfolded unevenly, plans changed, unexpected expenses appeared, and personal priorities evolved. Yet meaning and satisfaction were found not because everything went according to plan, but because you and those around you adapted. Retirement is no different. Expecting a flawless transition ignores the reality that change, uncertainty, and adjustment are permanent features of life, not problems to be eliminated.

Trying to perfect retirement often leads to paralysis. Some people delay retirement because their finances are “almost” ready. Others retire but remain uneasy, constantly recalculating, second-guessing, or comparing themselves to friends who appear to have done it better. This mindset turns retirement into a performance rather than a lived experience. When perfection becomes the goal, contentment is always just out of reach.

Retirement like many of life's transitions is best understood as a phase that changes frequently. It is not a finished product. Health will change. Interests will shift. Energy will rise and fall. Some days will feel deeply fulfilled; others will feel quiet, dull, or uncertain. That variability is not failure—it is normal. Allowing room for imperfection makes it easier to respond to these changes with curiosity rather than fear or frustration.

There is also a hidden cost to perfectionism: it crowds out joy. When people are focused on optimizing every decision—where to live, how to spend time, how much to spend—they often miss the simple pleasures that make retirement meaningful. A morning walk, an unhurried conversation, volunteering occasionally rather than perfectly, or discovering that doing less can feel like more. Our readers often report that once they got over feeling that they had to make things perfect everyday, they felt better and more in charge of themselves.

Letting go of perfection does not mean being careless or unprepared. It means accepting that no spreadsheet, plan, or vision board can fully anticipate real life. Retirement works best when it is flexible, forgiving, and open to revision just like everything else in life.

In the end, a “successful” retirement is not one that looks ideal from the outside. It is one that feels manageable, human, and alive from the inside—imperfections included. 

 

 

Preparing for Something New

You may be thinking about retiring or already in it.  Whatever your status, you need to address how you can make your life better. Retirement is about a new era and in some cases a totally new life. Most retirees will be trying something new and that requires planning. It’s never too late to plan or to REWIRE! Here are some things to consider about the future.

We usually write about the positive sides of retirement.  However our readers often send notes reminding us of some of the downsides they have experienced. We thought highlighting a few of these obstacles and building awareness may help lead you to a smoother retirement. You need to prepare for them just as you would for a financial plan. That’s why REWIRING is so important.

Retirement is often seen as a reward after decades of work—freedom from schedules, stress, and obligation. Yet beyond financial readiness, many retirees discover that the real challenges are psychological, social, physical and emotional. 

One of the hardest adjustments is the loss of identity tied to work. For years, a career provides structure, purpose, and a sense of contribution. When that role ends, retirees may struggle with the question, “Who am I now?” Without a professional title or daily responsibilities, feelings of emptiness or diminished self-worth can surface, especially for those whose careers were central to their identity.

The loss of routine can be a real obstacle. Work naturally organizes time, dictating when to wake up, where to go, and what needs to be accomplished. Retirement can remove this framework overnight.  Many retirees find that creating new routines—through hobbies, volunteering, or part-time work—is essential.

Social isolation is often underestimated. The workplace is a primary source of social interaction for many of us, offering daily conversations, teamwork, and a sense of belonging.  Building new social networks requires effort and vulnerability, and loneliness can quietly take hold if it is not addressed. 

Retirement can also strain personal relationships. Couples may suddenly spend far more time together amplifying unresolved tensions. You may take on new family roles, such as caregiving for aging parents or supporting adult children and grandchildren, which can limit personal freedom and increase emotional stress.

Last and certainly not least is aging. It doesn't happen all at once and we learn to adjust along the way. Over time physical limitations, declining health, and the awareness of mortality become more present. Finding mechanisms that build resilience is key to confronting them. That's a hard one and takes a long time to digest as much as plan.

So get planning!!

Your Brain in Retirement: Use it or lose it

We titled our book, Don’t Retire, REWIRE! for a reason.  Retirement marks a major shift, not just in daily routine but also in the way your brain works. We are strong advocates for having interests, continuous learning and socializing with others to maintain cognitive health.  For many people, stepping away from full-time work means losing regular mental challenges — from solving problems under pressure to multitasking and adapting to new tasks. Over time, this reduction in cognitive demands can influence brain health and mental functions.  Rewiring can help prevent that.

Research shows that retirement is often associated with a modest but measurable decline in certain cognitive skills. In a long-term study, participants’ verbal memory — the ability to recall words and verbal information — declined about 38% faster after retirement compared with before.  Other analyses of many published studies reported a small negative effect on memory-related skills after retirement, though global cognitive ability often remained relatively stable.  

Why might this happen? One likely reason is reduced mental stimulation: once you retire, the daily mental “workout” of navigating deadlines, complex tasks, or interactions may no longer occur. Without that ongoing challenge, some brain functions can gradually weaken.  Another factor: retirement may reduce social engagement, routine, and structure — circumstances that also help keep the mind sharp.  Yes, you need to REWIRE!

Interestingly, retirement does not affect everyone in the same way. Some research suggests that under certain conditions — for example, if retirement is voluntary rather than forced, or if the retiree remains active mentally or socially — cognitive decline may be less pronounced. In some cases, individuals may even see improved abstract reasoning after retirement, perhaps because they then have time to pursue hobbies, learning, or other interests.  

Having said that, other data indicate that retirement increases the overall risk for faster cognitive decline and possibly greater risk for dementia — though the evidence is mixed and seems to depend heavily on job type, retirement circumstances, and what people do afterward.  

In short: retirement can reduce the brain’s regular “exercise,” which may accelerate declines in memory and processing speed — but it doesn’t automatically mean mental decay. Staying mentally, socially, and physically active after retirement appears to make a big difference.  

Don’t wait. Plan before retirement or soon after it to replace work with new and challenging routines that keep you interested and interesting.

 

Life Long Learning Is a Rewarding Journey

We have been getting a lot of inquiries about learning opportunities in retirement. Whether you're looking to learn for fun, develop a new skill, or keep your brain active, there's something out there for you. Learning keeps your mind sharp and helps delay cognitive decline.  You build confidence as you learn new skills. Pursing learning can also open doors to social groups and forums. You can explore new interests or revisit old passions. Importantly, learning encourages a sense of purpose and structure. There are a tremendous number of learning opportunities, and you can do them all online. 

Coursera: Courses from universities like Yale, Stanford, and the University of London. Tons of free options (you only pay if you want a certificate).  Topics range from psychology and history to tech and personal development.

edX: Like Coursera — courses from MIT, Harvard, and other top schools. edX offers “micro degrees” and programs tailored for older learners too. You can audit most courses for free.

Udemy: Offers courses that focus on practical skills. There is a one-time payment per course (often under $20 on sale).  Great for learning hobbies: photography, painting, music, writing, coding, etc.

Great Courses Plus / Wondrium: Think of it as Netflix for learning. Lectures by professors, but more digestible and story driven. Topics include history, religion, science, philosophy, wellness — ideal for curious minds.

MasterClass: Celebrity-led classes. Great production value and inspiring content. Where entertainment meets education.

Khan Academy: 100% free. Originally for school-age learners, but great for brushing up on math, economics, and science at your own pace.

Senior Planet / OATS (Older Adults Technology Services): Designed specifically for older adults.  Offers tech literacy, wellness classes, and training to use the internet and apps.

YouTube: Put in a topic and out will pop dozens of videos on the subject.

Remember, your local library is a great resource. If you haven't been in a while, visit and speak with the staff. We have always found them helpful.  

Many libraries offer a lot more than just books: films, magazines, lectures, authors nights, even live music, etc. Spending time in a library and investigating the different sections can lead you to new interests. 

Many readers have told us that just sliding a book out of a shelf and thumbing through it set them on a rewarding journey with a whole new interest.

The sooner you start the sooner you’ll learn! Try a topic you're interested in.  If you get bored, discard it and try something else.  Eventually you will get traction on an interest that can engage you for the rest of your life.  

It’s a great way to start a REWIRING journey.

 

The Power of Optimism in Retirement

Retirement marks one of life's most significant transitions, bringing both exciting opportunities and inevitable challenges. While this new chapter can feel daunting, maintaining an optimistic outlook becomes crucial for creating a fulfilling and vibrant retirement experience.

Optimism in retirement isn't about ignoring reality or pretending difficulties don't exist. Instead, it's about approaching this life stage with hope, curiosity, and confidence in your ability to adapt and thrive. Research consistently shows that optimistic retirees report higher life satisfaction, better physical health, and stronger social connections than their pessimistic counterparts.

As you REWIRE an optimistic mindset transforms how you view retirement's inherent changes. Rather than seeing the loss of professional identity as devastating, optimists view it as liberation from workplace stress, negative people, and an opportunity to explore neglected passions. The shift from structured workdays becomes a chance to create personalized routines that better align with individual preferences and energy levels.

Health challenges, while inevitable with aging, become more manageable when approached optimistically. Positive-thinking retirees are more likely to maintain healthy habits, seek preventive care, and view setbacks as temporary rather than permanent. This proactive approach often leads to better outcomes and greater resilience.

Financially, optimism doesn't mean reckless spending, but rather confidence in your ability to make smart decisions and adapt to changing circumstances. Optimistic retirees tend to engage more actively in financial planning and remain flexible when adjustments are needed.

Most importantly, optimism in retirement is contagious. It attracts meaningful relationships, opens doors to new experiences, and creates a positive legacy for family and friends. When you approach retirement with enthusiasm and hope, you inspire others to do the same.

Cultivating optimism requires intentional effort—practicing gratitude, staying socially connected, pursuing meaningful activities, and maintaining physical health. By embracing this mindset, retirement becomes not just a time of rest, but a period of continued growth, purpose, and joy.

Overcoming Retirement Challenges

Recently we spoke with a group of our Don’t Retire, REWIRE! readers about the challenges they face in retirement and what they have done to overcome the obstacles in their way.  The list they provided isn’t very long, but it is comprehensive.  Understanding how to face the challenges is a large part of the solution.  Here are some of their ideas:

Advance Planning: Engaging in financial and lifestyle planning before retirement can help set realistic expectations and prepare for changes.  It can define timelines regarding how long you need to keep working.  Planning also means considering what obligations you may have.  Many people retire and enter a caregiver role, because one or both of their parents are still living.  Children of retirees might also need their parents’ time, talent, and money if they are struggling.  As one reader put it, “You never stop being a parent.”

 

Developing Interests: Exploring and cultivating hobbies, interests, and social activities can provide purpose and enjoyment. Too often people way until they are retired to start exploring how to spend their time.  The sooner you start the better.  It is the fortunate retiree who rolls from work to hobbies and interests without missing a beat.  

 

Maintaining Social Connections: Staying connected with friends, family, and community groups helps prevent isolation. The importance of friends cannot be stressed enough.  If you relocate, you will probably make new friends.  Many retirees report that they call their new friends “good acquaintances.”  They admit that there is nothing like an old friend. Keep up and communicate. Pick up the phone, call your friends. Let them know you care. It is easy to let it slide. Don’t let that happen. Hopefully they will be with you for the rest of your life. Remember they don't want to hear a boring conversation.  They want some excitement, too. 

 

Focus on Health: Prioritizing physical and mental health through regular exercise, medical check-ups, and healthy living practices is crucial.  Here is a category that always surprises us.  So many people don’t go for annual checkups or put off seeing a doctor even if they don’t feel well.  You must take care of yourself. You will be better off for it. So will the people who depend on you.  Stop watching television. It can be repetitive and toxic. Go for a walk. Eating and drinking in moderation should be the guideline, too.

 

Seek Support: Utilizing counseling services or support groups can assist in adjusting to retirement and addressing emotional challenges. Retirement can be stressful. If you are feeling lonely or depressed, don’t wait. Talk to someone.  Retirement coaches can help. Through them you can learn a lot and avoid making the mistakes that others have already made.

 

While retirement presents challenges, it's also an opportunity for rest, exploration, and personal growth. By recognizing potential difficulties and proactively addressing them, you can navigate retirement more successfully and enjoy this new phase of life.  Remember, Don’t Retire, REWIRE!

Your Personal Journey of Self-Discovery in Retirement

 

We recently received an email from one of our readers.  With her permission, we're doing this blog on the question she asked: “I am going to be retiring soon. How can I rediscover myself. It has been a long time since I knew what I liked, what interested me, and what I want to pursue. How can I begin?”

That's a deeply meaningful question and also a very common one for people approaching retirement. It’s a big shift, going from structure and responsibility to open space and possibility. If it’s been a long time since you really explored what you like. That space might feel a little overwhelming at first, but it’s also incredibly full of potential.

Here’s some thoughts we offered her on how to begin reeconnecting with herself:

Before doing anything, take a moment to honor the journey you've been on. You've likely spent years, maybe decades, building a life around work, family, and obligations. It's okay not to have all the answers right now. You're not lost—you’re just at a crossroads

Start by unleashing your curiosity and don’t apply any pressure or parameters on yourself. Ask small, open questions: What used to bring me joy when I was younger? What did I dream about doing when time wasn't an issue? What kinds of things catch my attention these days?  You’re not committing to anything yet. You’re just listening to yourself.

Try some new (or old) ideas without needing them to be productive: Pick up a paintbrush, a camera, a guitar. Try a variety of things. Go for a walk in nature, sit at a café with a notebook, or browse a local bookstore, take a free class, join a club, or try volunteering. Let your interests guide you a little at a time.

Keep a journal of your thoughts and activities. Each day or week, write a few lines: “Today I felt alive when…” I noticed I was drawn to…” “I want to try…”  Over time, a pattern will emerge. It’s like your inner compass quietly realigning.

Connect with other people who are also discovering themselves after retirement. Attend local meetups, online forums, or community centers, or lifelong learning classes.  They often have programs or discussion groups where you can explore ideas.

Consider engaging in mindfulness practices to help you tune into what’s happening now, not just what used to be. Therapy or coaching (even short-term) can help unravel any guilt or fear around choosing activities for yourself.  Make sure it's an objective third party, not someone in your family who may have their own agenda.  You can share your ideas with family later on when you have decided what you want to pursue. 

Don’t think it’s easy.  It’s not.  Sometimes it takes much longer to decide what to do than you would like.  Take your time and be patient with yourself and others around you.  Try new things. If you don’t like what you tried, discard it and go to the next idea.  Your REWIRED life may be just around the corner.