The Big Move to be Near Your Children

Since the first edition of Don't Retire, REWIRE! was published in 2002, we have been asked frequently by pre and post retirees, "Do you think we should move to be closer to our children and grandchildren?" The Wall Street Journal Retirement Section this week has a great article about the subject.  Covid has accelerated the number of people actually moving to be near family. Not only are people moving to be near family, but there are many cases of families moving in together. 26 percent of households now include three generations of family members. That is almost four times greater than a decade ago. 

We have always answered the question about moving with, "It depends."  It can be a wonderful idea if you understand the risks associated with such a move and decide that the risk/reward ratio is in your favor.  The risks of moving involve understanding your family dynamics, what you will be giving up, and what will happen to you if your children want or need to move to a different location after you have uprooted your life. Where will that leave you? Saying goodbye to friends, the familiar neighborhood, the routines, the organizations and clubs that make up the fabric of our lives can be extremely difficult. 

Consolidating households can bring financial benefit to some family members that are significant and quite possibly life saving.  The key is understanding the sacrifice for everyone concerned not just the people having to move. Dislocation is a lot different than relocation and some family members may need the life line of shared living space. The physical and financial stability that can come from helping those you love is a wonderful reward for all parties. Think good days and bad days.

How wonderful it is to grow up with loving and involved grandparents. The warm memories and the shared learnings can be life affirming and life altering. For those who experience it, you are the fortunate ones. Families who sincerely care about one another and actualize that care by moving closer to one another or even moving in together will have challenges and rewards.  But that's life isn't it!

Getting Started with Passion and Purpose

As people plan for retirement, or their future, or whatever they want to call it, words like Passion, Purpose, Hobby, Busy, Fulfillment, and Fun come on the screen. Unfortunately, there is a lot of pressure on people (put on us by ourselves, our children, friends and society overall) to get the future right.  What "right" means is different for everyone. Creating a future is an individual project, not a collective movement.  Trying new things can lead you to a host of enjoyments. 

In our work we have made many suggestions about how to find new activities when you rewire…beginning with the idea of doing some self-discovery and excavation.  Go deep and think about childhood memories and accomplishments. We all have dreams and ideas that have been lying dormant and may now be ready to pop in some manner. 

 

People admit that they get stuck on how to investigate an idea once they decide to go for it. 

Here are a few simple basics: Start with the Internet. GOOGLE is your friend. 

 

      1.View your interest from a variety of angles. Don’t narrow your initial search; you can edit your ideas later. 

      2. Go local and global in your search. Read, read and read more.

      3. Look for local/national/international organizations that support your activity. Attend a meeting/event as a non-member. Check it out and see if you like it.

      4. Subscribe to the organization’s newsletter; they’re usually free.

      5. Determine if you know people already doing this activity. Reach out to them. They can introduce you to others, but don’t expect them to do the work for you!

      6. Take classes. Take notes. You are a beginner so ask tons of questions. 

      7. If the activity you select isn’t fulfilling your expectations, dare to discard it and try something else.  Readers tell us that it is often the second, third and sometimes the fourth idea they have investigated that leads them to where they want to go.  So be persistent.