STOP MAKING RESOLUTIONS YOU WON'T KEEP

It's a new year and if you made it through last year, which if you're reading this blog you did, then pat yourself on the back and let's together move on to 2010. In prior years this would be the time to talk about making some resolutions but NOT this year.

As I eavesdrop and hear peope talk about making New Year's resolutions I believe it's done tongue -in -cheek. Both they and I realize that they feel they "should" make resolutions but in actuality they know that they are going to break them, so I ask---why make them in the first place? You are only kidding, and possibly even hurting yourself if you fall into the fake resolutions trap. Think about it...how many diets have you started and stopped, or job or career changes you said you were going to make and didn't and now feel stuck?

I read a great article where the author challenged her readers by saying---If you think you are the perfect weight, or that you have great abs and arms already, or eat a good diet or love your job and and that your friends are all perfect, then you are already living the optimum life for you and no resolutions are necessary! The readers were told to keep it up and get down on their hands and knees and give thanks and show gratitude.

I thought to myself these people are lucky and that prior resolutions have paid off! However as I looked at my sagging upper arms and at the chocolate chip cookie I was eating, I realized not everyone is there yet.

Not everyone is living the life they want, so I offer a simple thought for the new year and that would be to just "take stock" of your life as it is today. Don't sugar coat or gloss over your findings. Be honest. Like me I am sure that there will be flaws and failings, a few ouches and some ahas! and that within all of your findings there will be hidden opportunities and chances for change. The new year is a beginning for introspection not self-flagellation.

I am NOT making any of the traditional resolutions. However after a few heart -to -heart talks with myself I have decided that there are two words that I will focus on for myself this year that are rather like resolutions; one is to better understand or analyze my own motivation, or lack thereof, and the other is to understand how determined I am to pursue new ideas and interests. These are some of the missing links of the rewiring puzzle.

LISTENING TO OUR ELDERS

We all get a lot of e-mail messages, many that we trash without reading. I don't remember who sent me the e-mail about the newspaper column written by 90 year old journalist, Regina Brett of The Cleveland Plain Dealer, but whoever it was, THANK YOU!

Regina Brett wrote a column listing 45 lessons life had taught her. I love how she thinks, and what she wrote, and I thought you would too. Don't worry I won't list all of her comments here, just a few that I found very poignant particularly as we face the end of another year.
So for those of you thinking about rewiring your life in some way next year, here are some thoughts to ponder.

• Life isn't fair, but it is good.


• When in doubt, just take the next small step.


• Don't compare yourself to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.


• When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.


• Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.


• Don't take yourself too seriously, no one else does!


• Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.

My comment to all of you is that there's nothing earth shattering in her thoughts...what can be powerful is if you think about them and then apply them to your life.

How Are You Doing On Those 2008 Resolutions?

This headline triggers a range of emotions from guilt to regret to joy. It all depends on whether you’ve pursued any of the goals or changes you said you wanted to make in your life this year. Funny, we make plans, have good intentions, then life gets in the way. It happens to all of us. It might seem obvious to you but I think that the goals that we pursue are the ones we really want. We give a lot of lip service to ourselves…..Some people call it the “woulda, coulda, shoulda’s,” and I also call it the “yeah, buts..” We have a million excuses for why we can’t do something.

I knew that I needed to rewire some of my own energy this year; I had gotten out of balance, and too focused on other people’s lives, forgetting my own. Admitting that I needed to rewire was the first step. Then listening to myself about things that I said I wanted to do was the next step. An inner voice kept saying to me… “you’ve been wanting to get into yoga.” I had done yoga in India in December, loved it, and verbally made it a priority, but did nothing to make it a reality. Yoga is great for getting in touch with body, spirit, and soul, (www.yogabasics.com) so I thought that would be great for my rewiring journey. When I looked at my travel TO DO List I saw that KRIPULA a Retreat Center in the Berkshires had been on the list for three years (see what I mean about postponing things!) and I decided to go there for the Retreat and Relaxation weekend. Another one of my goals was to spend more quality time with friends. I didn’t just want to “do dinners.” So when a friends said, “I’m into yoga and would love to go to KRIPULA,” I knew there was no stopping me! All of the excuses were removed. I picked up the phone and got us a reservation. My husband said he’d have his own retreat weekend at home while I was away. (remember we don’t rewire in a vacuum!) Getting away allowed me time to reflect, take stock, and more importantly live in the moment, which isn’t always easy. The weekend was fun, fulfilling and a success for me and I had the chance to combine several goals.

Why am I telling you this? It’s an idea that might work for you. Maybe you should try repackaging a few goals. Getting rewired is about changing your mindset, then about changing your actions. When I looked at my goals, yes I actually wrote them out, I saw key themes that supported my desire for more balance and centeredness in my life. It’s just a beginning and I know I’ll make up excuses for why I can’t do yoga or see a friend but at least I’ll be more aware of my own excuses! I’ve also learned to breathe differently, (something I can do anywhere) and even discovered FitTV a channel that offers Namaste Yoga. It’s not even Spring yet and I’m on my way!

Don’t Drag Out the Same New Year’s Resolutions This Year

I’m tired of meeting woulda, coulda, shoulda people...you know who you are. You talk about the changes that you are going to make in the new year. You say that this is the year to get down to business, to plan, take action, get in control, and it sounds great, then nothing. We’ve all been there. There’s a gap between what we say, and what we do. There’s a lot of lip service going on. I’m not saying that we aren’t serious about making resolutions, or whatever we want to call them, I think that often the resolutions are things we think we “should” do. I’m challenging you to rewire your thinking about your resolutions! Yes, losing weight (weightwatchers.com), switching careers, (careerbuilder.com) volunteering (volunteermatch.com) or just getting your life in balance is good…but let me add a resolution that is a little different…Take the time to discover what makes you tick.

Yes, stop and reflect on YOU. Gain some SELF KNOWLEDGE.

Many people over 50, even 45, are thinking about their future...from the financial standpoint, but also from the “what can I do today to make life better today and tomorrow?” I say this is the year to take an inward journey…to discover what drives or motivates you. If you have no idea where or how to begin…check out the 85 drivers listed in DON’T RETIRE, REWIRE! Look at your life and ask where am I getting fulfillment? And if it comes up a little empty then there’s your opportunity to add new activities. Start looking inside before you look outside for answers.

Make that a resolution!