Starting the New Year as a Retiree

As a retiree, starting the New Year right can be an exciting time to set intentions and priorities for the year ahead. Here are a few suggestions to help you make the most of the coming year.

1. Reflect on the past: Take some time to reflect on the previous year and think about what went well and what you might want to improve. This self-reflection can help you set meaningful goals for the coming year.

2. Set new goals: Think about what you want to achieve or experience in the upcoming year. Whether it's traveling, pursuing a new hobby, or spending more time with loved ones, having goals will give you a sense of purpose and excitement.

3. Stay active and healthy: Make sure to prioritize your physical and mental well-being. Engage in regular exercise, eat a balanced diet, and maintain social connections. Consider trying new activities or joining a club to stay involved and meet new people.

4. Plan for financial security: Review your retirement savings and make any necessary adjustments to your budget or investments. Consider consulting with a financial advisor to ensure your finances are in order and aligned with your retirement goals.

5. Give back: Consider volunteering or getting involved in your community. This can provide a sense of fulfillment and purpose while helping others.

6. Embrace learning: Retirement is a great time to pursue lifelong learning. Engage in activities that stimulate your mind, such as taking classes, reading, or exploring new interests. It's never too late to acquire new knowledge or skills.

Remember, retirement or as we say, REWIREMENT, is an opportunity to prioritize your well-being and enjoy the freedom that comes with it. By setting goals, staying active, nurturing relationships, and continuing to learn, you can make the most of the New Year and the years to come.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

What Rocky Says About Moving

 

Many people consider moving as a part of their retirement plan. Often it's a move to be near a parent or a child who needs some help. Caregiving for the old or grandchildren often falls to those who have the time and the willingness to do it. Others move for a better cost of living, to be in a place they loved when they vacationed, or to be near a venue where they can indulge an interest. Perhaps retiring to be near a place where they can hunt or fish, experience museums or concert venues that inspire, or a climate that is more conducive than the one they presently live in.  It used to be only about 5 percent of people moved after they retired. The number is up to 20 percent and growing.   A move to escape the boredom of a routine that you know and the sameness of the familiar is becoming a trend.

Sylvester Stallone, who we all know as Rocky or Rambo, has moved from California to Florida. Yes, the tax savings will be huge, but that's not the reason.  To put it in his own words, "It’s really easy to become complacent. I thought I gotta do something drastic. Everything’s getting kind of mundane, repetitive, I can feel myself withering a little bit, drying up like an old fig falling off a tree." He continued, wondering, "Jesus, how long am I going to be around, for another 20 years? I don’t want to be complacent for 20 years.""So I said, ‘Well, you really want to get the adrenals going? Leave.’ And that’s why I’m gonna move east. Nothing I think inspires you than taking your house or your history, balling it up and going [gestures blowing ball away]."

We can attest to his emotion. After 48 years we moved from Manhattan, NY to Florida. We blew off the familiar and challenged ourselves. All the familiar was gone. We had to learn everything new. The roads, the destinations, where to shop,  where to eat.  We had to find new doctors, dentists, and make new friends. It was hard.  The result has been excellent. We wouldn't have said that a year ago. It takes time to adjust to new surroundings.  But our advice is that if you decide to do it, don't be a quick quitter.  Give it time. Tolerate the frustrations. Risk getting lost.  Eventually, you will see the horizon.

For those of you who want a more daring move, one of our single neighbors who moved to Florida quickly decided it wasn't enough. She recently moved. She is going on a three year around the world cruise.  The exciting thing is that she has never been on a ship before.  Now that's adventure.

Friendships: The Elixir of Life at Any Age

Friendships are one of the most important ingredients for a happy life. Whether you are six or sixty or beyond, having friends is one of life’s greatest joys.  We receive many emails from readers about how important friends are in retirement. They are someone to have fun with, someone to listen to you, someone to help, and someone to care.  As you REWIRE into your next act, they go with you.

Friends are as the song goes there “in good times and in bad times.”  You may call them buddies, or mates, or chums, or girlfriends, or guy friends. What is important is that they are the people in your life who help you celebrate events, provide support when things in your life go wrong, and are those individuals at the other end of the phone, text or email who you can share your life with. Without friends we can easily become isolated and alone.  Isolation and loneliness are the road markers on the way to depression.  

 

Like anything else, friends need to be nurtured. If you haven’t heard from a friend, call them, or text them. If you haven’t seen each other in a while, make a date to get together.  A simple act of communication can make someone else’s day. No one wants to be forgotten especially by someone they consider a friend.  It’s easy to say, “Gee, I haven’t heard from so and so. I guess they’re busy.”  Don’t assume that they are. Perhaps they have run into a problem that has distracted them or worse have a health issue that has altered their life. They would love to hear from you!

 

Guys have a particular problem. Studies show that the average male has one to two friends. If one moves away, there goes fifty percent of their friends. That’s why it’s so important to continue to make friends as you get older.  Granted, they won’t be lifelong. It takes time. Start out making acquaintances. Spend time together. Perhaps you can find them through a common interest or hobby. You may be surprised to find out they are looking for friends, too.  

 

Rick’s mother at age 94 had an interesting take on friends.  One day she held up her address book and asked Rick what it was (she was totally possessed of all her faculties). He said, “It’s your address book, Mom.”  She responded, “No. It’s the book of the dead. But the names in here include some of the best friends anyone could ever have.”  She may have outlived them, but she cherished their memories. Call a friend.

 

 

 

 

The Retirement Starting Line

We receive a lot of emails from our readers asking how they should begin their retirement journey. As one email began, "How should I start my retirement? Where do I begin?" Retirement can be very confusing. After all there are so many things to consider as we face the future. 

 

One of the most important steps you can take is to get to know the new you. Of course, you’re still the same person, but there will be many changes in your life that will require you to adapt, expand or contract activities, assume new responsibilities, try new activities or go on adventures that you have always wanted to take.  

After years of researching retirement and speaking with thousands of retirees, we have compiled a list of positive steps to consider as you look forward to retirement. Below are a few of those steps to get you thinking. They also work for those who are already retired but need to rethink the future. 

 

Accept the Future as a time of endings and beginnings. Think about what will end with work. Ask yourself what will you miss and how will you replace it. Also ask how will you keep in contact with work friends?  You will experience many endings and beginnings in retirement. This is the first one.

Acknowledge how you handle change. Do you run from it or embrace it?  Change even for those who embrace it can be difficult if you haven’t planned for it.  Leaving work is a huge change on the mind and the body. You'll want to prepare for it. Retirement is not a marathon. It is a series of sprints.

Don’t forget your values: Our values are our anchors. How highly do you value your work? Recognize that the absence of work may leave you feeling adrift.  What will you replace it with? What anchor will you need?

Go on vacation. Do something totally different the first week or month of your new life. If you know that change is hard for you that the first Monday of your new life may be difficult.  Being in a different environment or on vacation can lessen the blow and help you ease into the future.

Take the time to know yourself. It’s a journey well worth taking. As a start read Don’t Retire, REWIRE! The book contains several exercises that help you focus on the future and how you can best achieve fulfillment in the next act. It takes time to know yourself post retirement. Be patient with yourself.

 

Remember, you are not alone. Talk to other retirees who you consider role models. Find out what they did to right and what they did wrong. Learning from the retirement mistakes of others can be a huge time saver.  If you find you need more help, consider engaging a retirement coach. A good coach reduces retirement anxiety and can save you time and money.

Let the kite out. Take one off-beat idea you have and play it through. Let the kid in you emerge. There may be a whole other side of you dying to get out. What a great way to start the future!

 

 

 

The Paradox of Aging

 

Recently, author Anne Akers wrote an article for The Three Tomatoes, the Insiders Guide for Women who aren't kids about meeting Patricia Greenberg aka The Fitness Gourmet. Patricia is the best selling author of Eat Well, Live Well, Age Well whose ideas for healthy aging are extremely insightful. The title of Anne's article is The Paradox of Aging.  In it she quotes, the deceased columnist and TV personality, Andy Rooney. He said, “It is paradoxical that while the idea of living a long life appeals to everyone, the idea of getting older doesn’t appeal to anyone." It reminds us of the lyrics of a country and western song, "Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die."  We have been given the gift of longevity that also challenges us to want to make those additional years count for something. That's where it gets harder.

Many of our readers believe that while it is wonderful to have many years ahead of us after we retire, the challenge is to age well while living a fulfilled life.  Growing older presents its obstacles. Those obstacles are only made worse by the media who constantly reminds us that old isn't fun.  Almost everyday some media outlet refers to people who are of a certain age as elderly. A lot of the time those articles are referring to someone in their 50s. What are they thinking? If they would stick their collective heads out the door they would see people in their 60s, 70s, 80s and even beyond doing interesting things, having adventures, writing books, competing in sports, etc.  They may have aged, but they haven't given up. They are still enjoying life and finding fulfillment in their selected activities. These people have REWIRED their thinking about aging and dismissed the thought that "I'm too old to do that."

Don't let the stereotypes of aging get in your way. Aker's article offers sage advice: “One of the best ways to live life to the fullest and enjoy each day is to stop comparing yourself to anyone else, whether it’s a friend, a family member, and especially someone you have never met, much less a photo in a magazine!”

One of the lubricants of enjoying life as we age is having friends to share the journey. Acquaintances are nice to have, but there is nothing like having friends along for the ride. The connections we share as individuals give us the opportunity to age well, often with a smile on our face. 

Finding Awe in Your Life

When was the last time you had an awe inspiring experience? Was it when you viewed the stars in the night sky, looked up at a skyscraper, saw a sunrise, the moon rising or fading into daylight? Were you looking at birds in flight or nesting? Were you listening to a symphony or an inspiring hymn? Was it when you met your grandchild for the first time? Was it when you fell in love and realized it?  They can all be magical moments. The key is that they present a view of life beyond our daily routines. Their exceptionalism makes them awe inspiring.  They take us out of ourselves. 

Our lives are often filled with distraction, confusion, and turbulence. Turn on the TV or your computer. They are often portals to anxiety and irritation. A recent article in The NY Times entitled How a Bit of Awe Can Improve Your Health highlights the benefits of having awe in your life.  Importantly, witnessing awe has a positive impact on our physical and mental health and accelerates a sense of well-being. The awe event "is calming our nervous system." It releases oxytocin, a hormone that "...promotes trust and bonding."  Oh, what a feeling.  

The article points out that in the modern world we are often too distracted by every day events that we miss moments of awe.  We need to work on having more awe inspiring moments by rewiring our lives and activities and being more open to live in the moment.  Some people can meditate and cleanse their minds from the jumbled thoughts that course through our minds. Others need only stop, look and listen and focus on something new. Witnessing an act of kindness counts. Seeing kindness in action is powerful. It gives us pause to reflect and hopefully store the moment so that we can replicate that act of kindness through our own actions. There are many ways to be awe struck. Now focus and be open to some magic in your life. 

When Do You Stop Feeling Young?

Several readers have asked the question, "When do most people stop feeling young?"  We originally thought that the age when people started feeling old is different for everybody.  Some people's hair starts to go gray in their 20s. That certainly isn't old! We've heard of knee's being replaced when people are in their 40s and 50s. Again, not very old.  Health varies for everyone, so clearly a health crisis can come at anytime and in a variety of forms leading people to the conclusion that they must be getting old.  Come to find out there are studies that target when most people start to feel old. Now guess. What age do you think is the average for when people stop feeling young?  50s? 60's? 70's? How about the 80's?  You'll be shocked to learn the age is 42.  Can you believe it? 

A recent study done by the Worldwide Independent Network of Market Research found that the early 40s were the critical time for people feeling that they had passed from young to older. Gray hair, aching joints, having reduced stamina...yes those weights in the gym do get heavier... and a health crisis all contribute to feeling older. So does comments from younger work colleagues.  We've had people in their 30s tell us that they are too old for certain jobs because the 20-29 year olds have a significant advantage. Granted that is in the world of technology.  Covid hasn't helped.  The past three years people have had to cope with isolation and loneliness brought on by the pandemic.  Also, we've had more time to think about our age.

There is an antidote for some of those feelings. It's called rewiring and it's the best tonic for replacing the sense of boredom and aging that often accompany retirement.  At lot depends on how you see the future. Is it a sunrise or a sunset? You would be amazed to see some retirees throw off aging and start a more robust and fulfilling life after work has ended.  For some it means embracing new work. For others it can mean pursuing a passion or a hobby now that there is more free time to be had.  Some of our readers report that travel and going back to school in the pursuit of learning can cast aging to the side. It takes planning and some pretty thorough self-analysis to determine what activities will keep you feeling young.  There's no time like the present to start the journey.  You will be glad you did and feel younger for having done it.

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