Giving Thanks at Thanksgiving

It's hard to believe that Thanksgiving, 2013 is upon us.  Where did the year go?  We just received a phone call from a reader who has become a friend wishing us a Happy Thanksgiving.  We hadn't talked since last Thanksgiving, so our conversation covered year's events and the many things we are thankful for: family, friends, work, etc.  The list for the fortunate can be quite long.  But that is the beauty of living in the United States.  Even with all the political madness, we have opportunities that are unavailable in other countries and cultures.

Our friend pointed out that her response to Thanksgiving 2012 was to go and find a volunteer opportunity that would enable her to give back and give thanks.  When we congratulated her, she said not so fast.  I am on my third charitable involvement.  The first two didn't work out and this one is presenting some challenges.  We let her know that this is a familiar refrain from many of the people we know.  They wanted to give back but no one would let them!

We suggested to our friend that she go back and re-read the section on volunteering in Don't Retire, REWIRE! There are some things about yourself that you must factor in before you select a charitable endeavor. 

Here are a few things to remember:
1. Whatever volunteer gig you select make sure it aligns with your own Drivers.  Drivers are the emotional fulfillment your receive from the work and activities you perform. For example, If you have a leadership driver, you probably want visibility and a decision making role. Serving soup in a homeless shelter won't give you the driver fulfillment you seek.  Get on a Board or Executive Committee instead.  Both jobs are important. If you don't get the fulfillment you need chances are you will leave or be very unhappy.

2. Find a volunteer opportunity where you will be appreciated.  If you end up doing volunteer work for people who are thoughtless or rude (yes, even they can be volunteers) you will quickly tire of the lack of respect and not receiving positive reinforcement or a simple thank you.

3. Select volunteer work that is geographically convenient.  If you have to go too far to make a difference, you will quickly tire of the journey.  God knows there are plenty of needs. So find one close by.  When you are tired, the last thing you want to do is drive or take a bus for 45 minutes.

These are just a few thoughts to consider.  Thanksgiving is a great time to consider giving back.  So if you aren't already volunteering, start.  But know your drivers first!

Reunions: Agony or Ecstasy?

A recent interview Jeri did with her sorority, Tri Delta, Living in 3D,  got us thinking about reunions.  We’ve heard from so many readers who have told us stories about reconnecting with old friends and making new ones via attending reunions of every kind imaginable: family, camp, high school, college, sorority, fraternity, with friends who served together in the military and former work associates.  Rick and I are Avon Products alumni (that’s where we met), and have reconnected with friends at Avon reunions.

When we started discussing reunions we went to Google to see what was being said about them.  Should people go or avoid them at all costs.  We found several prominent articles on all kinds of reunions that were both pro and con.  But what was telling were the themes of the articles, for example: 31 Reasons Why You Should Go to Your High School Reunion.  Another articled trumpeted 6 Reasons Why High School Reunions Shouldn’t Exist.  Some of the reasons in both articles were funny, sad, and even downright crazy.  But 31 trumps 6, so our advice is go to any and all reunions with an open mind and an open heart. 

Attending a reunion is a form of rewiring®.  Yet many people dismiss reunions as not necessary.  Some don’t want to revisit bad memories or avoid them at all costs because, “I look too old” or I’ve gained too much weight.”   Entrepreneurs clearly don’t see it that way.  They jump at the chance to go to reunions.  Why? Because entrepreneurs view it as a new learning experience that will improve their chances for success.  A conversation at a reunion may lead to a new idea, a new client, a new supplier, a new career opportunity or a whole new perspective. 

You don’t have to be an entrepreneur to get something positive from a reunion.  It may lead to new ideas where to travel, what classes to take, hobbies to begin, where to volunteer and give back.  You may even find someone to travel with, play a sport with, or just go have fun with.  Whether you continue to work, want to start a new business, or increase your leisure time enjoyment, you can benefit from what you find out at a reunion.

So go to your reunion. You may find some pleasant surprises and unexpected magic when you walk down memory lane.

 

Volunteering is Ageless: Getting Started

Last week we posted a blog about the power of being a Volunteer. Since then, we have had a tremendous number of inquiries asking about the best way to get started. We highly recommend starting out by volunteering on the local level. It is a way to get your feet wet, so to speak, REWIRE your thinking about the future, and better yet test market what kind of volunteer opportunity would be best for you. Some of the requests we had were for local level resources. Here are some tips on getting started:
*Check out the local charities in your area for opportunities.
*Try VolunteerMatch.com.
*See what local churches and synagogues are doing.
*Visit your local government website for neighborhood projects.

We live and work in New York City, and one of our favorite volunteer organizations is Health Advocates for Older People (Hafop.org). They are are partnering with the Volunteer Referral Center and representatives of several non-profit agencies to give potential volunteers information on getting started.

A panel of volunteer experts will be giving out information about a variety of opportunities and updating the audience on how to become engaged with a volunteer effort. Here is the info:
When: Thursday, May 3rd, 2012
Where: The Church of the Transfiguration, One East 29th Street, NYC
Time: 2-4pm. Light refreshments will be served.
RSVP or for further information: 212-889-4805.

Don't take our word for it. Find out for yourself how volunteering can change your life for the better as you help change the lives of others. Go for it!

A Secret to a Long and Happy Life!

What if I told you that I can give you one word that will lead to improving and extending your life and it won't cost you anything? Not only will you benefit but so will your family, friends and the community in which you live. Ridiculous, right? Also, the word will help you to make new friends, expand your contacts, improve your social and relationship skills. Sounds better doesn't it. But let's not stop there, we are only getting to the good stuff. You will stay healthier, more physically fit, alevieate chronic pain, stave off depression, lessen your risk for heart disease, and increase your ties to your community. I hear you saying, "this word has got to be the name of a miracle drug." Am I right?

Before I forget, the word will also improve your existing job skills and can even give you skills for a new job or career. The word can give you more and broader work experience. The word can even set you on a new course to more fulfilling work and in some cases a better paying job. I can hear you yelling now, "Stop. Tell me the word." Not so fast.

The word can also lead to people seeking you out for your wisdom and life experience. Now you are screaming, "Enough! I must know this word." OK. Put on your seat belt, get ready to listen and REWIRE your thinking about the future.

The word is VOLUNTEER. All the studies support the many positive results derived from rolling up your sleeves and helping others. Actually, you don't even have to roll up your sleeves. You just have to show up to a volunteer opportunity that gives you driver fulfillment and appeals to your interest and curiosity. It can be something big like world hunger or something small like cleaning up a neighborhood park. Needs are boundless and so are opportunities to make a difference.

We don't care what volunteer opportunity you pick. It could be the Red Cross, The Sierra Club, The Peace Corps, UNICEF, Habitat for Humanity, or your local homeless feeding program. The needs are great and by committing to improve the lives of others or the environment, you will improve your life in ways you could never imagine!

Why Do So Many People Hate Today's Words?

What’s going on?

Having recently given presentations in Chicago, LA, San Antonio and New York, I have been struck by how vocal people have become about words they hate! Several years ago when we were researching ideas for Don’t Retire, REWIRE!, we heard rumblings about how many people disliked the word retirement. They didn’t like the image it evoked; they didn’t like the definition of the word and they couldn’t relate to it. We knew that our concept of rewiring would offer pre- and post-retirees an alternative way to think about and plan for their future. Although we created the term rewirement we realize now that we don’t care what people call their future life stage, we care more about how they live or “do” their future.

Now it seems that people dislike most words that have anything to do with aging! It’s like there is a rebellion going on. People have shot down the words-- Senior, elder, mid-life, older, mature…and the list goes on! When I started hearing people complain, it made me think about the first time someone said, “Thank you, “Ma'am! to me. All I could think was “What? Or the famous Robert De Niro line from Taxi Driver…”you talking to me?” I thought, “I’m still cool! How can you call me Ma'am?” It meant that that younger person, saw me as older, (notice I didn’t say old) and I was shocked.

AARP says that “60 is the new 40.” Studies cite people seeing themselves as 10 -12 years younger than they really are. So is it just boomers wanting to be younger? No. When a 90 year old woman told me that she volunteers and that her job is to take the blood pressure of the “old” people, I thought who is she talking about? She proudly said, “92 and 94 year olds!” This is not a boomer rebellion about certain words, this is broader and in the mind set of many. It was then that I discovered a great article in AGING TODAY, called WORDS TO AGE BY: A GUIDE ON STYLE AND USAGE. The link will take you to the November-December 2007 issue for at least another 3 weeks. Then it will be in "Back Issues" at the bottom of that page. When you get to the page, just scroll down to "Words to Age By." Although written for the media I think it is a good read for all of us!

So just to be safe if you see me on the street just yell out…Hey You! And I’ll answer.

Curiosity May Be the Key To Happiness

I am a “social voyeur” who thinks that the holidays are a great time to learn about life. As an author and speaker I like to eavesdrop. It’s what keeps me on the cutting edge of change. Thanksgiving gave me a lot of opportunities to listen and learn. I discovered that everything that I either wrote about in DON’T RETIRE, REWIRE! or talk about in my speeches was happening within my own family and circle of friends. I’m always telling audiences that since we are living longer and healthier lives that we need to be challenging ourselves to imagine new possibilities and to dream bigger dreams. When I surveyed my own family and friends I realized that some people are thrilled about living longer while others aren’t. Some are going for the gusto every day, and others are complaining every day!

I was surprised to learn that an old friend, who had never appeared to be too adventurous in the past, was looking in to going into the PEACE CORPS (www.peacecorps.gov). That brought out a range of comments from “is she crazy?” to “I wish I had done something like that when I was younger.” I realized that I was with an ahttp://www.blogger.com/img/gl.link.gifssortment of glass half full and half empty people! My Mom, a real on the go woman of 82, always said if you are a pill at age 20, the odds are you’ll be a pill at age 60, 70 and 80! I believe that people can change if they want to, but I also believe that people need to make a conscious effort to change their attitude and jumpstart their future. Here were physically healthy people at our Thanksgiving table who had gotten mentally stale. They needed to be rewired, and actually I think wanted to be, since a few admitted to boredom. My natural instinct was to try and discover what was stopping them from pursuing new activities, or looking at the future with a new set of eyes, or even just taking a different road to get to the mall! But somehow I didn’t think that a rewiring™ workshop over pumpkin pie and coffee would cut it.

During dinner I casually said that I wish that we could create a curiosity gene…I thought that that was what society needed. I happened to mention that it was one of the 10 Nuggets of Knowledge we cited in the Second Edition of DON’T RETIRE, REWIRE! then I left the room. I wanted to give the gang a little food for thought, but not a speech!

My 25 year old niece, who had been quietly listening, asked “is there anything I should be doing to rewire?” I didn’t want to get into a conversation on saving for the future and the power of compounding, I want her to like me, not run every time she sees me, so I said, “ Listen to Jean Chatsky on OPRAH and FRIENDS (www2.oprah.com), she’s got a cool show that addresses a variety of life planning questions.” I felt like I had done some good without coming off as the heavy.

The holidays are a wonderful way to gauge how friends and family are doing, regardless of their age. Phone calls can only do so much, and yes/no answers are too easy. Everyone can use a little rewiring of their energy and their time. It’s easy to get in a rut. Take it from me. We all are there at one time or another!