Grandparenting As You REWIRE!

REWIRING! has many facets. Grandparenting is one of them that offers great joys and sometimes unanticipated stress. Being a grandparent and a retiree can present a unique set of challenges, despite the anticipation of enjoying more time with grandchildren. While retirement offers the freedom to devote yourself to family, it also coincides with trying to balance your own needs with that of your family.  

Physical limitations and health concerns may put up some barriers. Keeping up with the energy and pace of young children can be physically demanding. Aches and pains from bending and lifting, playing, and chasing are familiar feelings for a lot of grandparents. Get out the Advil or the Tylenol!

The role of grandparents has evolved significantly. Navigating unfamiliar territory, such as step grand parenting or long-distance relationships due to relocation can also add a lot stress. Striking the right balance between offering support and respecting the autonomy of your adult children in parenting decisions can be cumbersome. Additionally, as retirees, grandparents may face financial constraints that limit their ability to provide for their grandchildren in the same way they could when working provided more disposable income. Slipping money to a grandchild for a new pair of sneakers may become a financial hardship. Just look at some of the price tags today.

While grandchildren bring immense joy and fulfillment, they may also serve as reminders of the passage of time and the shifting dynamics within your family. Retired grandparents may grapple with feelings of nostalgia for lost youth or concern for the future well-being of grandchildren. You don't necessarily long to be a kid again, but you may begin to mourn the passage of time. There can be other stress, as well, when the grandkids refuse to listen or worse call you out as "so out of touch." That stings like a lash.

Enjoy the kids. Somehow things work out even if they don't listen. Relish their smiles and laughter. Help them dry their tears and celebrate their victories. Whether in person or on the phone, or through text or FaceTime, stay connected. They just want to be loved. So do you.

Having Purpose Can be the Elixir of Life

Having a purpose in life is a major key to happiness and a propellant to REWIRE! Retirement often signals the end of purpose for many people.  The happiest retirees are those that find a new purpose that is fulfilling and nourishing.  Without purpose there is an emptiness that leads to boredom and depression.  Purpose is important for several reasons, as it provides direction, motivation, and helps create a full life.

A clear purpose acts like a compass, guiding your decisions and actions. It helps you prioritize what matters most and avoid distractions. Knowing your purpose allows you to focus your energy on what truly aligns with your values and goals. Purpose fuels motivation. When you have a strong sense of why you are doing something, you're more likely to persevere through challenges and setbacks. This intrinsic motivation can drive you to achieve things that might otherwise seem impossible.

Life is full of ups and downs. Having a purpose helps you stay resilient in the face of adversity. It gives you something to hold onto when times are tough, making it easier to overcome obstacles and maintain a positive outlook. Purpose contributes to mental and emotional well-being by giving life meaning and reducing feelings of emptiness or confusion.

A purpose often requires you to grow, learn, and evolve. It pushes you out of your comfort zone and encourages continuous self-improvement. As you strive to fulfill your purpose, you develop new skills, gain knowledge, and become a better version of yourself.

Purpose often involves something greater than oneself, whether it's contributing to society, helping others, or being part of a community. This connection to something larger can foster a sense of belonging and strengthen relationships.When faced with difficult choices, a clear purpose can serve as a guiding principle. It helps you evaluate options based on how well they align with your purpose, leading to more consistent and satisfying decisions.

Ultimately, having a purpose gives life meaning. It provides a sense of accomplishment and fulfillment, knowing that your actions and efforts are contributing to something valuable. This sense of fulfillment is crucial for overall life satisfaction.

Having a purpose is important because it shapes who you are, what you do, and how you interact with the world around you. It’s a driving force that can make life more meaningful, rewarding, and impactful. REWIRE! with a purpose!!

 

Maintaining Work Connections After Your Retire

The decision to maintain work connections after retirement is a personal one. Whether it's important to maintain work connections after retirement depends on your personal goals and circumstances. It's important as you REWIRE! to have a social network. Work is where many of our friends reside. Ask yourself if you want to maintain relationships with colleagues after you retire? Some things you may want to consider as you make that decision:

Social Interaction: Work connections often form a significant part of your social network. If you enjoy the company of your colleagues and find value in maintaining those relationships for socializing, it will be important to keep in touch.

Professional Networking: Even in retirement, there may be opportunities where your professional network could be beneficial. This could include consulting opportunities, part-time work, or even volunteering in your field of expertise. Keeping in touch with your former colleagues can help you stay informed about such opportunities.

Mentorship and Guidance: You may have accumulated a wealth of knowledge and experience throughout your career. Maintaining connections with your colleagues who are still working can allow you to continue to be a mentor to them, which can be fulfilling and rewarding to them and you.

Personal Support: Work connections often provide emotional support during significant life changes, such as retirement. Staying in touch with former colleagues can offer a sense of continuity and support during this transition. Don't think retirement is all fun and games. It can be emotionally challenging. Periodically you may welcome the support.

Interest in Past Projects: If you were involved in ongoing projects or initiatives at work, you may want to have continued interest in your team's progress even after retirement. Keeping in touch with your former colleagues can allow you to stay informed. It's always nice to have them seek you out for advice or guidance. It can help you keep up your skills and learn new ones, as well.

Some retirees prefer to distance themselves from their former work life entirely and focus on new pursuits and relationships outside of the workplace. That's fine, too. It's your decision. You may change your mind about work when you're retired. Then you will wish you had stayed in touch. REWIRING is about making choices that will benefit you in the future. Think longer term when you make those choices.

REWIRE with a Pet?

Rick and I grew up with dogs and love animals.  After several years of married life, we decided to get a dog. Rick woke up the next day after our decision was made, looked down 34 stories from our apartment balcony and saw a man with an umbrella walking his dog in the pouring rain. When I got up the first thing he said was, "Let's get a cat." So we did. We ended up having over a period of 24 years two different cats: Jennifer and Sebastian (pictured above). We adopted them from the ASPCA in New York City.  We loved them!  We get asked by a lot of our readers should they get a pet in retirement?  This is what we tell them.

Ultimately, getting a pet can bring a lot of joy and companionship in retirement, but it’s essential to weigh the responsibilities and make sure it aligns with your lifestyle and future plans. If you decide to do it, do it the right way or not at all. Their lives depend on it.

Pets, especially dogs and cats, can provide great companionship, reducing feelings of loneliness and giving a sense of purpose.  There are a lot of health benefits. Studies have shown that pets can lower blood pressure, reduce stress, and improve overall cardiovascular health. Regular walks with a dog can help you stay active.

Having a pet can bring structure to your day with feeding, walks, and playtime, which can be beneficial in retirement. Walking a dog or visiting the vet can increase your social interactions with other pet owners and community members.  Walk in the park on any day and you can witness people talking to dog owners. Pets require time and attention, and their needs can sometimes limit your flexibility, especially for travel plans. Pets aren't inexpensive. They come with ongoing costs for food, grooming, vet visits, and potential emergency care. All things to be seriously considered.

Your physical ability to care for a pet, especially as you age, can be a challenge. Larger or more active pets may require more energy and strength. Think about the lifespan of your pet and ensure you can commit to caring for it for its entire life. Also, consider what might happen if your health or responsibilities change. You'll need a backup plan if something precludes you from caring for your pet.

You need to ask yourself how active do you want to be in retirement?  Are you planning to travel frequently? If so, do you have plans for pet care during your absence? 

What type of pet do you both enjoy? Dogs, cats, birds, fish, and small mammals all have different care requirements. Do you have any allergies or aversions to certain types of animals? Do you have friends, family, or neighbors who can help care for the pet if needed? Whew, that sounds like a lot. It is a lot, because it's so important.

If you decide a pet might be too much of a commitment but still want animal interaction, consider alternatives such as: Volunteering at a local animal shelter or rescue organization; Fostering pets temporarily until they find permanent homes; Pet-sitting for friends or family members. It's a good test market to try out being a pet parent.  

The Pickleball Craze and Daze

Pickleball is one of the fastest growing games for REWIREES. Step aside golf, boating, bowling, and tennis. We've watched the sport in person and on TV and have witnessed the high level of competition it has created. It also has been a real boom for orthopedic surgeons. Sadly injuries have claimed quite a few players. So be cautious if you decide to play. We asked our readers who play pickleball what they thought. Here are a few comments that may get your engine started.

"Pickleball is more than just a game to me; it's a passion that brings joy and excitement into my life. 

"From the moment I stepped onto the court, I was captivated by the fast-paced action and the strategic maneuvers required to outwit my opponents."

"The sound of the paddle striking the ball and the satisfying pop as it sails over the net fills me with a sense of exhilaration like no other."

"One of the things I love most about pickleball is its accessibility. Whether you're a seasoned athlete or a complete beginner, pickleball welcomes players of all ages and skill levels."

'It's a sport that fosters camaraderie and friendship. My gang comes together to enjoy a fun and competitive game."

"I've met some incredible people on the pickleball court, and the sense of community keeps me coming back for more."

But perhaps what truly sets pickleball apart is its addictiveness. 

"Once you start playing, it's hard to stop. The thrill of a well-placed shot or a perfectly executed rally is unparalleled, and I find myself constantly striving to improve my game."

"Whether I'm playing singles or doubles, every match presents fun and an opportunity to grow as a player. Pickleball has become not just a hobby, but a way of life for me, and I wouldn't have it any other way."

We're seeing a lot of competition for court time and community altercations about noise and building more courts. Interestingly, it is a sport that is growing among younger people. You can watch competitive pickleball on TV. Pretty soon it will be an Olympic Sport. Who knew?

Bored in Retirement

 

Retirement offers the gift of time, but occasionally, boredom creeps in. We asked our readers how they overcame it. Here's some ideas from people who were in retirement for several years became bored and what they did to get out of it:

"I joined a garden club, took up painting and, also, learned how to windsurf. After a while I focused on gardening. I love the changing seasons and what I can do in my own backyard. Now I only get wet when it starts to rain."

"Keeping fit provided me with a sense of accomplishment and well-being. I walk a few miles everyday. I vary the route. I've made friends in a walking group I joined. We walk, talk, and see each other socially."

"I became a volunteer. Giving back really got me going. I explored some local charities, schools, and the hospital. I visited them. Met new people and then picked one to focus on. I find it gives me a sense of purpose and keeps me in touch with others."

"I learned some new skills. It can be a rewarding way to fill your time and make a positive impact on your life. I do carpentry now and help others in the neighborhood. The kids call me Mr. Fixit."

"Go on a new adventure. I did. I always wanted to see Italy. I went, got hooked and now go every other year. I love the vineyards and learning about wine. It's something I do at home, too."

"I learned a new language. It opened up a whole new world of cultural experiences."

I got bored. So I took up playing the guitar. My buddy was bored, too. He took up cooking. Our wives like to eat and be entertained. Now it's never boring."

Those are just a few of the responses we received. By embracing change and staying curious, you can transform periods of boredom into opportunities for growth, discovery, and fulfillment on your retirement journey. It is all part of REWIRING!

REWIRING! with Intellectual Stimulation

 

One of the concerns we hear from our readers is how do they keep their brains engaged after retirement. In fact, that's a big part of REWIRING! Challenging yourself intellectually, staying curious, and enjoying a fulfilling post-career phase of life is a great way to keep your gray matter stimulated and your understanding of the world around you current. Here are a few tips.

Continued Learning: Enrolling in classes or workshops that interest you can be just the thing. Many universities and community colleges offer courses specifically designed for retirees at discounted rates. Consider subjects like history, art, literature, or explore new skills like photography or cooking.

Reading: Make reading a daily habit. Reading fiction, non-fiction, biographies, poetry and other forms of literature or focusing on publications about current events can be immensely rewarding. Joining a book club can also add a social aspect to your reading experience. Maybe you want to work at Barnes & Noble or a local bookstore.

Staying Informed: Engaging in discussions with friends or participating in community forums keeps you thinking. These days politics is a difficult discussion with friends so be sensitive to the position of others and be selective with whom you speak. Not everyone has the stomach for it anymore.

Hobbies: Pursue hobbies that challenge your mind. Solving puzzles, playing musical instruments, gardening, or learning a new language, or pursing hobbies, new and old, can provide mental stimulation and fulfillment.

Volunteering: Volunteering not only keeps you intellectually engaged but also provides a sense of purpose and fulfillment. Make sure you find the right role, too. You may want to volunteer at a homeless feeding program, but don't want to work in the kitchen. How about being on the marketing committee or being a fundraiser instead?

Traveling: Traveling exposes you to different cultures, perspectives and experiences, stimulating your mind and keeping you intellectually curious. The nice thing is you don't always have to travel too far to learn something. Perhaps there is a learning opportunity in the next town or county.

Technology: This is so important today and tomorrow. Embracing technology opens up a whole world of intellectual opportunities. Using the internet to access educational resources, joining online communities, or participating in virtual events and lectures from around the globe offers exciting possibilities.

Creative Expression: Engaging in creative activities like painting, writing, or doing crafts stimulates different parts of the brain and fosters your problem-solving skills.

As you review the list, remember that maintaining social connections with friends, family, and peers can keep your mind sharp, too. Try a few or all of these ideas. You will be pleasantly surprised by the results. Happy REWIREMENT!!

Retirement isn't for Everyone

 The decision when to retire is a personal one and can depend on a variety of factors such as financial readiness, health, personal goals, and lifestyle preferences. It's important to consider your financial situation, future plans, and overall well-being when determining the right time to retire. It's recommended to consult with a financial advisor or retirement planner to help you make an informed decision based on your individual circumstances. That said we are seeing more and more studies showing that if you love what you do, keep doing it!!!

There are many professions where you can work as long as you want. That is particularly true if you have your own business.  We've seen financial planners, lawyers, doctors and a variety of other professions continuing to work into their 80s.  When we've asked them why they continue to work they pretty much say the same thing, "Why would I stop doing a job that I enjoy, am still good at, and where I am getting personal and professional fulfillment." We love that thinking.

Using our brains is so important as we age. Work gives us the opportunity to problem solve, exercise critical thinking, and use our social skills.  Staying connected to others is huge.  For many work is their principal social network and if that eclipses off the screen it takes a long time to build a new one.  Being part of a group or groups outside of work is a lifeboat of sorts.  If you aren't involved outside of work, there is no time like the present to begin. 

Many people would like to keep working, but are confronted with obstacles that channel them into retirement. Perhaps it is a younger boss, an ageist company culture, high levels of stress, and more demanding customers or clients.  It is understandable to want to get out of those type of circumstances, but it doesn't mean work needs to stop.  Powering back and doing a more flexible schedule might be a solution if your employer is flexible.  If your skill set lends itself to consulting, you can market yourself. Your former employer might be one of your clients.  Taking a new job, working part-time, or starting a business are other options.  The important thing is getting fulfillment from what you do and using your gray matter. Everyone wants to look forward to getting up in the morning and doing something productive.

The Positive Aspects of Losing Yourself in a Task

 Losing oneself in a task can be a great way to enhance focus and productivity. It's a great way to REWIRE your thinking. Here are some tips to help you achieve that state:

1. Choose a compelling task: Select a task that you find interesting, challenging, or meaningful. When you're engaged in something that aligns with your passions or goals, it becomes easier to become absorbed in it.

2. Set clear goals: Clearly define the objective or outcome you want to achieve with the task. This provides a sense of direction and purpose, keeping you focused and motivated.

3. Remove distractions: Minimize potential distractions that can pull your attention away from the task. Put your phone on silent, close unnecessary tabs on your computer, or find a quiet space where interruptions are less likely.

4. Create a conducive environment: Arrange your workspace or surroundings in a way that supports your concentration. Organize your materials, eliminate clutter, and make sure you have the necessary tools and resources readily available.

5. Break the task into smaller parts: If the task feels overwhelming, break it down into smaller, manageable steps or milestones. This not only makes it more approachable but also allows you to experience a sense of progress, which can be motivating.

6. Use a timer or schedule: Set a designated timeframe for working on the task. Using a timer or scheduling specific blocks of time can create a sense of urgency and structure, helping you maintain focus.

7. Engage your senses: By fully immersing yourself in the task, you can enhance your concentration and involvement. Pay attention to the details, use different senses if relevant, and try to connect emotionally with the activity.

8. Find your flow: The concept of flow refers to a state of optimal experience where you feel fully and effortlessly immersed in an activity. To achieve flow, seek a balance between the challenge of the task and your skills or abilities. This can lead to a highly engrossing and rewarding experience.

9. Take breaks when needed: While losing yourself in a task is beneficial, it's important to take breaks when necessary. Taking short breaks between focused work sessions can help prevent burnout and maintain long-term productivity.

Remember, losing yourself in a task requires practice and discipline. By applying these strategies consistently, you can improve your ability to enter a state of deep focus and engagement. 

Should I Retire at the Same Time as My Spouse or Partner?

Retiring at the same time as your spouse or partner can have both advantages and disadvantages. While it may seem appealing to enter this next phase of life together, there are some pitfalls to consider. One significant issue is that retiring simultaneously can create too much togetherness, which may lead to conflicts or feelings of claustrophobia. It's important to maintain a balance between spending quality time together and having individual space and activities.

Another potential pitfall is the financial aspect. If both partners retire at the same time, it can put a strain on your finances, especially if you haven't adequately planned for it. You should consider how retiring together will affect your retirement savings, Social Security benefits, and other income sources. It's wise to consult with a financial advisor to ensure you can comfortably sustain your lifestyle throughout retirement.

Additionally, retiring at the same time as your partner may lead to a loss of individual identity. Some people find much of their sense of self in their career, and when that is abruptly taken away, they may struggle with their identity and purpose in retirement. It's essential to have a plan for how you will stay engaged, pursue new interests, or maybe even continue working part-time if that aligns with your goals.

Lastly, health considerations should also be taken into account. If both partners retire together and experience declines in health around the same time, it can put a strain on caregiving responsibilities and lifestyle adjustments. Having open discussions about long-term care plans and contingency plans should health concerns arise is crucial.

It's important to weigh the pros and cons of retiring at the same time as your spouse or partner. While it can be wonderful to embark on this new chapter together, it's essential to consider these pitfalls and make necessary preparations to mitigate their impact. Communication, financial planning, maintaining individuality, and addressing health concerns are all key factors to keep in mind when making this decision.

Starting the New Year as a Retiree

As a retiree, starting the New Year right can be an exciting time to set intentions and priorities for the year ahead. Here are a few suggestions to help you make the most of the coming year.

1. Reflect on the past: Take some time to reflect on the previous year and think about what went well and what you might want to improve. This self-reflection can help you set meaningful goals for the coming year.

2. Set new goals: Think about what you want to achieve or experience in the upcoming year. Whether it's traveling, pursuing a new hobby, or spending more time with loved ones, having goals will give you a sense of purpose and excitement.

3. Stay active and healthy: Make sure to prioritize your physical and mental well-being. Engage in regular exercise, eat a balanced diet, and maintain social connections. Consider trying new activities or joining a club to stay involved and meet new people.

4. Plan for financial security: Review your retirement savings and make any necessary adjustments to your budget or investments. Consider consulting with a financial advisor to ensure your finances are in order and aligned with your retirement goals.

5. Give back: Consider volunteering or getting involved in your community. This can provide a sense of fulfillment and purpose while helping others.

6. Embrace learning: Retirement is a great time to pursue lifelong learning. Engage in activities that stimulate your mind, such as taking classes, reading, or exploring new interests. It's never too late to acquire new knowledge or skills.

Remember, retirement or as we say, REWIREMENT, is an opportunity to prioritize your well-being and enjoy the freedom that comes with it. By setting goals, staying active, nurturing relationships, and continuing to learn, you can make the most of the New Year and the years to come.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!