Stop Worrying About What Others Think

Many people have a lifelong affliction. They worry about what others think of them. Philosophers through the ages have cautioned us to be wary of being concerned about others' thoughts. To paraphrase, when you worry about what someone else thinks of you, you become their prisoner.  Not a reassuring concept.  A recent article in The Atlantic, titled No One Cares! offers some great insight into the subject.

Retirees no are different than anyone else when it comes to caring about what others think.  Keeping up with the Joneses has been a concern for a lot of people throughout their lives. As a result people are driven to overspend on cars, houses, fashion, jewelry, vacations.  Many a bankrupt has gotten there by wanting those around them to think they are rich or smart or beautiful or handsome.  Guess what? According to the article, most people aren't thinking about us at all. They are thinking about themselves. They are the lucky ones.

Our readers periodically let us know that they have missed many opportunities because they "couldn't compete" with their friends or anyone else who they thought were judging them.  Social media has only made it worse. It can become a crippling fear to have strangers post negative things on your Facebook page or your Pinterest or Instagram accounts. It rarely means they are concerned for you, it could be that they are just mean spirited. They may not even know who you are. But some people can't stop worrying about it.

Free yourself. Don't let anyone into your head who you wouldn't welcome into your home! The emotional benefit is beyond measure.  The holidays are approaching. Give yourself a gift: STOP worrying about what others think. And remember, only you can do it for yourself.

Retirement Surprises

You can't read a publication or watch the news without the subject of financial planning for retirement being advertised.  We put enormous amounts of time and effort into making sure we save, invest, and grow a nest egg so that when we arrive at our selected retirement age, we can enter this new life phase without having to wonder how we will pay for all that we require going forward.  It seems that all that expended energy leaves little left for retirement life planning. 

We are hearing from many readers that they wish they hadn't neglected the planning on what they would do on a day to day basis. As one reader exclaimed, "I never thought about what I would do after the first few months of a well deserved vacation. I found out that retirement isn't a vacation. I wish I knew that before I hit the wall."

A recent article in the Wall Street Journal by Dr. David Ekerdt, who spent 44 years studying retirement including a stint as President of the Gerontological Society of America and as a Professor of Sociology and Gerontology at the University of Kansas, tells his own personal story. Yes, he had many surprises when he retired.  Things he never thought about became the realities of daily life. Fortunately he is brave enough to share them with us.  Most retirees have surprises in retirement.  Our readers have told us quite a few. Many report of being totally blindsided and surprised by what retirement is really like.  "It's always the things you never think about that pop up. Some kick you in the gut. Others put a smile on your face. I wish I had done more life planning."

How will you be spending your time? What activities will you be participating in? Who will be your friends? After all, some people move away. Be prepared by asking yourself some important non financial questions. It's not just about the money. There is no time to start like the present.