Suze Orman and I Both Say Alter Your Expectations! New Comments Added!

For the past year and a half my co-author/business partner/husband Rick Miners and I have been researching people's attitudes about the future. We were simultaneously tracking what we call Life's BIG Game Changers... fluctuating financial portfolios, joblessness, sandwich and generational issues not to mention health care, social security, and longevity challenges. We came to the conclusion that we should expect to live longer and probably with less money! And now as you read this we are imagining that you are letting out a collective OUCH! Since we have been sharing this message with audiences across the country for the past year we have heard that gasp many times!

With increased life expectancy (three million Boomers are expected to reach 100)and walloped financial portfolios we have been telling everyone that they need to rewire their thoughts AND actions about the future. We know that no one, especially Americans, want to believe that they might have to alter their expectations in any way. We have come to expect certain things at work, at play, in our lives overall. And let's face it, change goes down hard.

So as we were working on our book proposal, Suze Orman comes out with her new book,The Money Class,and everything we believe is right inside those paper or electronic pages! Suze is a no holds barred expert and she is out to help people create or re-imagine a new American Dream! I only wish we could have gotten her to recognize that our Rewiring process is THE WAY for people to jumpstart the process!

So after getting over the feeling of being scooped, we said,"we were on the right track, Suze just got there first!" And the great thing is, is that the message is getting out!

Both Suze and I agree that:
1.) you HAVE to be honest with yourself--it's now or never!
2.) it takes GUTS to do that but you won't get anywhere good if you don't!
3.) you need to create a New Dream based on reality, not fantasy!
4.) big and having more are NOT better---hence the mess we are in today!
5.) you WILL have to alter your expectations--even live below your means!

Suze knows the financials...whereas I know the qualitative part of life.
If people knew their drivers, as defined in DON'T RETIRE, REWIRE! they would have a good sense of self, and of what makes then tick. Basically they would have a leg up as they set out to redefine their American Dream.

We highly recommend this book, as well as viewing Suze's Money Class on PBS.

Show A Little Vulnerability- Learn to Play Mah Jongg

My life is about challenging others to rewire their life in some way. So in January I decided to take my own advice. I wanted to rewire some of my play time and decided to learn how to play mah jongg. I wanted something fun; that I could do with friends; that had portability and that would give my brain a good workout! All of the neuroscience data today shows that it's important to constantly be learning something new that challenges your grey matter!

So let me begin with a few facts and the plan I followed:
1) I didn't know anyone who played mahjong.
2) I didn't want to learn bridge because it seemed too difficult and serious.
3) I mentioned my desire to learn mah jongg to a friend who also knew nothing about the game but thought it sounded interesting.
4) She and I found a few other women who said they had wanted to learn but for whatever reason hadn't pursued it...yet.
5) We found a great teacher through the National Mah Jongg League and took lessons.
6) The mah jongg teacher orchestrates weekly games, for beginners and experts, and we committed to play every Monday. The key to doing anything new is to do it with frequency;that's the secret to learning.
7) We all have flexible work schedules which made it do-able (but it still seemed decadent to commit four hours each Monday to fun!)

Still for me, one of the biggest and scariest learning experiences was the first time I played mah jongg with strangers. None of my gang was available one Monday so I found myself playing with far more experienced players. Although I was a "wreck" and kept apologizing for mistakes, they were great and I learned a lot from them. What I realized is that it is impossible to become an expert overnight! Regardless of what we are trying to learn ---you have to be a beginner first! There's no way to get around it! Playing mah jongg has allowed me to become a part of a community of women committed to a variety of passions related to mah jongg! Even something fun and simple like where to buy a mah jongg set or mah jongg jewlery on line at places like mahjonggmaven.

So whether it's mah jongg, fly fishing, golf, cooking...whatever you want to learn..take a lesson or two or three. Yes you might look like a fool; yes you'll be like a kid again just starting out, but you know you're smart and if you like what you are pursuing you know you will "get it" eventually and that there will be new rewards and fun at the other end!

So dare to show your vulnerability and decide to try something new---who knows, you just be good at it!

What Have You Hidden In Plain Sight?

Do you ever look at something and not really see it? I think it happens alot today especially with people who have too much on their minds and too little time.

Several years ago I taped a list entitled: Lydia's Anti-Aging Essentials inside a cabinet in my bathroom. I probably open that cabinet on average three to four times a day; multiply four by 365 days a year, give or take days for vacation,and then multiply by at least 10 years of living in this apartment and that amounts to 14,600 opportunities for me to have read the list. Yet it didn't happen. I opened the door but never noticed the list at all, and this went on for years!

The paper was beginning to turn yellow so I took the list down. I was surprised to see that the list contained 12 very interesting items. In fact it included things that I believe in, and espouse every day. They are basic but bear repeating. The author is someone named Lydia; I don't know her but 10 years ago I liked what she had to say, and I still do today. Her list fits right in with my views and can be used as a framework for rewiring your life both inside and out!

Lydia's Anti-Aging Essentials Include:
1.Sex and Massage
2.Prayer and Exercise
3.Animals
4.Afternoon tea
5.Utter honesty---especially with self
6.Gratitude for simple pleasures
7.Goals
8.Work-(in many cultures the word 'retirement' means death!)
9.Affection
10.Music
11.See things from another person's point of view
12.No absolutes

So what messages do you have hidden around you...at work, at play, in your house, that you need to look at with a new set of eyes?

What Do I Stand to Gain and Lose This Year?

Last year I asked readers to stop making resolutions they know they won't keep. This year I'm going the next step by asking you to focus only on the "in the gut" resolutions that you really do want to make a reality.

In other words what I'm saying is STOP WITH THE LIP SERVICE! The number one resolution every year is to lose weight. So if you are one of the millions of people who want to lose weight for health, appearance,or longevity reasons, then read on.

A NY Times article about "bulge busting companies" like Weight Watchers, Nutrisystem, and Jenny Craig highlights how these companies are making it more user friendly to help dieters achieve their resolutions.

This same article also talks about apparel companies like Fila and Reebok who are manufacturing toning apparel that is engineered to make working out more effective. These are just a few examples of how consumers can leverage resources to make resolutions realities. There's no getting around the reality that using these products and services does cost money.

And here is our challenge to you in the New Year-- ask yourself, "what will be my return on this investment?" I bring this rewired way of thinking to you because this year when I spend discretionary money, and each of us describes discretionary differently, I'm going to ask myself, "how will I benefit from this purchase or service?"

Successful businesses focus on ROI, return on investment. Why not individuals? Let 2011 become the year of Personal ROI. However, if weight is on your resolution list this year, ask yourself, before you spend any money, what do I stand to lose? By losing weight and inches, you will be gaining the achievement of your goal.And you could gain by becoming overall healthier,more youthful appearance, improved muscle mass, toned, great abs, and on and on!

So these companies, like FILA, Weightwatchers, etc, and my new way to rewire your thinking could help you get rid of the lip service and get on with your life!

AN AFRICAN SAFARI BIRTHDAY ADVENTURE

I'm out of Africa or rather back from South Africa and Namibia after having had an extraordinary three weeks there!I have always wanted to go on a safari; it's been high on my dream list so we went this year to celebrate my birthday. I love it when people ask, "what did you do on your birthday?" and I say "I was out hunting rhinos"..with a camera! (Note the photo!)

Now some people might say..."so going on safari was on your bucket list?" To be honest, you can call the list a bucket list, dream list, life's to do list, or even things that I will be bummed if I never do in my life list! I don't care what you call your list but I do care that you have a list.

Now I also have much smaller things on my dream list. In fact the things you put on your list should not all be safari-size, but they should be personally yours. I love animals so we went with a group called Wilderness Safaris because I want to be more aware of animal behavior, their environment and the circle of life, as they say in THE LION KING. I also wanted to see the BIG 5--- leopard, lion, elephant, rhino and cape buffalo up close and personal, and I did.

So I'll ask what's on your list? Do you have a list? For some people it could be pretty basic..you want a job; or a new career or more clients. For others it could be a fulfilling relationship and for others they want to fly fish in Costa Rica (remember as I work with people on their rewiring, I hear all kinds of dreams!).

So as you look forward to the New Year start to take a few mintues to think about what you are dreaming about and I hope that it is more than sugar plums!

WE NEED THE HALLOWEEN FEELING MORE OFTEN!

I loved Halloween this year! I was in Michigan visiting my Mother and couldn't believe how Michiganders rocked out--challenging times and all! Everyone knows that Michigan has, and still is, going through tough economic times but you wouldn't have known it on Halloween. As I walked around my Mom's neighborhood I saw houses whose front yards had been turned into cemeteries!I heard the song the MONSTER MASH being played through windows and I saw huge spiders crawling up the sides of chimneys. I saw Lady Gaga and Barak Obama trick or treating not to mention assorted ghosts, goblins and dogs who were dressed for fun!

Neighbors were gathered around movable fireplaces in their driveways (living in New York City I had never seen these before!) and adults and kids both were heavily costumed! In fact the couple in the picture don't have kids, but had their house and themselves all decked out!

Now some of you might be thinking, this is what happens when you have too much time on your hands, but truthfully these people were having fun...and allowing for everyone else to have a great time too!

People were letting loose and the attached article from The Detroit News says it all: Halloween Weekends Raised Spirits. Did you laugh enough on Halloween? Get into the spirit?
If you did, then I say keep it up and find ways to laugh more...and by the way you should know that it only takes 4 muscles to smile and 13 muscles to frown! :)Maybe we need to rewire our fun!

Ants in Your Pants Are A Good Thing

Jim Sollisch recently published an article in The Wall Street Journal entitled:"Ants in Your Pants? You Will Probably Live Longer."

The premise of the article is that the more you move, bounce, fidget, or even go for a walk, the healthier you will be and as a result live longer. In so many words fidgeting is good for your body and your brain.

When I was a kid, and always doing "stuff," I remember my parents saying...what's the matter with you? Can't you sit still? In fact they have been telling me to sit still since I was about 3 years old, and I always equated it with buzzing around like a bumble bee.

Now as a grown up I realize that we have advocated something similar in our book, Don't Retire, REWIRE! Except in the book we call it rewiring®. Rewiring® is taking energy previously used in one area (typically work) and moving it into new, fulfilling activities. The simple act of shifting energy moves people around into new work, volunteering, learning new sports, games,or devoting time to hobbies and other life enhancing endeavors.
In his article Jim says that stepping back from the computer and email actually improves results,and you will also lose weight. You may also gain a new zest for life. Now that's two good reasons to get moving and get rewired®.